Wednesday, November 26, 2008

(I Need a) Caffeine Bomb...

Do not adjust your set.

Plese also disrgard ayn tpyos/

In the words of Kerry Katona (please bellow in an indignant Warrington accent): "I'm nor jrunk! Ish my medcayshun!".

You see, to all intents and purposes, Prozac is a marvellous thing. I have spent most of the Autumn travelling for work, flying to and from such exotic locations as Odessa, Istanbul and Liverpool. This time last year I couldn't have gone to the shop up the road without a full medical escort and intravenous gin.

However, the one side-effect I do suffer with is insomnia. Oh, hang on - and when I do sleep I have vivid, intense, exhausting dreams. You try feeling rested when you've spent your sleeping hours variously captaining gigantic cruise ships, shoplifting from Habitat and trying to get off with all the Kings of Leon at the same time. It's not easy, let me tell you.

So anyway. We both (me and the Other Half) grew tired of me waking us up shrieking and flailing four times a night, of me waking him up because, well, I was awake, and of both being awake from 6am every Saturday due to me being all wobbly from yet another full-length night horror featuring my mother.

I went back to the GP yesterday and querulously asked whether there was anything he could prescribe in the short term to help me sleep. Oh, yes! There was!

Ladies and gentlemen, may I proudly present Nozinan. Jealous, kids? Wish you too could treat simple insomnia with a powerful anti-psychotic which is also used as a painkiller in palliative care for patients with late-stage cancer? Want to run the gauntlet of various terrifying* side-effects? Ha! You should be so lucky!

I started them last night. I took 12.5mg at 9pm, and by 9.25 was in a sort of waking coma** - it's like being really, really stoned but without the paranoia and munchies. I slept like the dead and woke up this morning feeling like I'd been run over by a marshmallow steamroller. I arrived at my desk and showed my boss my eyes - he was rather impressed that my pupils were different sizes. I was completely off my gourd until around lunchtime.

Of course, this has raised serious concerns with me and I don't know what to do for the best.

Should I carry on taking them or start selling them?


* The one that bothers me the most is the threat of unwanted and persistent erections. Brr. Like I don't have enough to worry about.

** Seriously though - the maximum daily dosage for the treatment of schizophrenia is 1000mg. Talk about your chemical cosh....

9 Comments:

Blogger Geoff chimed in with...

The first time's the worst with antipsychotics. I was shaking like Elvis then I woke up like Dylan off The Magic Roundabout. I would give them a chance.

26 November, 2008 19:59  
Anonymous helena chimed in with...

Probably give them a chance for a while but if you really can't stand the steamrollery feeling then try Valerian tablets (should be able to get them in Holland and Barretts). I suffer from horrendous insomnia, for the past 6 months I've been averaging (if I'm lucky) about 5 hours very broken sleep a night. Gave these a go a couple of weeks ago and am now having lovely sleeps with no zombie feeling the next morning. (Only problem is that if you have a cat then they'll try to fight you for them - apparently Valerian is like a stronger catnip!)

27 November, 2008 14:35  
Blogger surly girl chimed in with...

i don't think i can take valerian with prozac, can i? or is that st john's wort?

stupid mental health problems.

27 November, 2008 15:01  
OpenID oyebilly chimed in with...

I've got the wildhearts stuck in my head now.

27 November, 2008 22:29  
Blogger rockmother chimed in with...

I quite like the sound of being stoned without the munchies or pulling a whitey or getting paranoid. 1000mg??!! I guess they are ok to take with Prozac otherwise your doc wouldn't have prescribed them? I wonder if it makes them more potent? Maybe take half of what you have taken so far and see if that works too? It may be that you don't need that much to help you sleep after all? There are good 'alternative' remedies you can get on 'tinternet from US - 'Sleep System' are amazing - I took them for long haul flying a few years ago - bloody miracle cosh without the fuzzhead all the next day. I felt the same when the hospital sent me home with 100 diamorphine after I had to have my caesarian. All I could think of was how on earth I was going to get rid of them as they were so strong it was scary. I'll shut up now!

27 November, 2008 22:44  
Blogger Kellycat chimed in with...

Valerian knocks me out but gives me horrendous nightmares, so I wouldn't suggest them for you...

28 November, 2008 18:11  
Anonymous Other Half chimed in with...

I'm pleased to report that after a couple of very spaced out mornings SG seems to have taken to the new medication rather well, resulting in peaceful sleep and a general feeling of rest which has been very much needed.

We've found that by only taking them a few nights of the week the body then seems to get used to wanting proper sleep and can cope without them the next few nights. Hopefully this is both a beneficial and healthy way to use the medication.

Either way I hope SG will persevere as she seems happier when getting a good nights sleep and she's been in top form this last week.

Over to you my love !

30 November, 2008 12:04  
Blogger FirstNations chimed in with...

...oh, well fine then. I was about to point out that valerian smells like butt nuggets and gives you Satans Asscrack breath but I guess we're past that point then.

30 November, 2008 23:02  
Blogger GreatSheElephant chimed in with...

what time of day do you take the Prozac? Might be worth changing that possibly - it shouldn't cause sleeplessness, quite the opposite frankly.

08 December, 2008 19:28  

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