Sunday, September 23, 2007

In which I make a slightly dull return

I don’t understand vibrating chairs.

I mean, I get that they might feel nice. I don’t get why they are suddenly appearing in motorway service stations and shopping centres.

I mean, I sort of get why they might be popular in shopping centres. Sort of. If you’ve been slogging round in over-lit, echoing hell all morning, a bit of a sit-down is probably quite nice. Except, wouldn’t a bench do the job? Or a chair in a coffee shop? Or, as is my preference, a lovely comfy bar stool?. Why would you pay a pound to sit, shamefaced, in a wobbling faux-leather recliner in the middle of Lakeside while smirking indie kids* slouch past, whispering to their mates about you as they hitch their ridiculous trousers up.

Um.

So, yes. Shopping centres, possibly.

But motorway service stations? Really?

It’s the same sort of random stupidity that's behind those weird, glitzy amusement arcades full of driving games that also populate these places. Who came up with that particular peach of an idea? I know!! When people have been sitting, trapped, in an airless Nissan Micra on the M4 for the last five hours, what they’ll really want to do when they get a break is to sit down! They could pay a pound to sit down in a jiggly chair for three minutes! Or, I know!! They could pay two pounds to go on a driving simulator!! And pretend to drive! You know, to pass the time until they can do some more driving!

Genius.

* Why are there so many indie kids now? Where did all the Emo kids go? Where do indie kids get their ideas from for all those odd styling decisions? Our town centre is positively rammed with stick-thin teenage boys**, dressed like a cross between Russell Brand and Timmy Mallet but with hair by Liberace. It’s creepy.

** I know how old this makes me sound. It can’t be helped though. Stupid passage-of-time.

13 Comments:

Anonymous Bill Door chimed in with...

Indie kids?
It's so modern where you live. We still have chavs and all the kids say 'wicked'.
And I think I saw a bustle last week but that may have been the new tablets the doc gave me...

23 September, 2007 19:14  
Blogger claire chimed in with...

so what distinguishes the indie kids from emo kids?
i'd like to know if we have them here in New York.
It's possible, but i am apparently too old to know the difference.

23 September, 2007 21:45  
Anonymous randomclick chimed in with...

They are both a close relation to each other. Although I'd say indie kids are those who have stolen, and walk around in, their sisters skinny jeans. Wearing anything else that is too tight fitting to be comfortable in and generally trying to be like Pete Doherty.

Whereas emo kids also wear skinny jeans. They are a more 'rock' version of indie kids. Probably the skateboarding lot who love My Chemical Romance etc. Most of them have a fringe that covers one or both of their eyes (how do they see?)

23 September, 2007 22:54  
Blogger First Nations chimed in with...

well there you is!

oh geeze, i wish we had indie kids; our latest thing are chonga chicks and juggalos. thank you, Sacramento.

*secretly jealous as hell of chonga chicks*

*totally would have been a kickin chonga dolly in my yooooth STUPID PASSAGE OF TIME INDEED*

24 September, 2007 01:09  
Blogger The Muller chimed in with...

Welcome home! Did you enjoy your holiday? Go anywhere nice? I expect the postcard will arrive in a day or two.

24 September, 2007 01:26  
Blogger Doris chimed in with...

I have given up trying to keep my finger on the pulse of yoof categories these days. I have to do that annoying mum thing, where I elbow my daughter, point someone out and ask "Are they an emo?"

24 September, 2007 16:46  
Blogger claire chimed in with...

hmm.. they sound a little too similar for me to be able to tell the difference.

also, i have no idea what FN's chonga chick is supposed to be.

i am so, so old.

25 September, 2007 17:45  
Blogger surly girl chimed in with...

claire - i'm with you re FN. bless her - i wouldn't have her any other way *ducks flying beer can*....

25 September, 2007 19:47  
Blogger Inexplicable DeVice chimed in with...

Perhaps the emo kids have disappeared down the back of a sofa? Or at least down the crevices of vibrating chairs in motorway service stations?

One can only hope.

25 September, 2007 20:48  
Blogger rockmother chimed in with...

Excuse me for (a) not visited ina while and (b) still not clear on what an emo is - what does emo actually stand for? and (c) sharing the embarrassment of once getting into a 'massage' (read humiliation) chair at a service station in France and giving lots of travelling salesmen tossers a right old eyeful of my boobs vibrating uncontrollably and jiggling up and down suggestively in one of those bloody chairs. It was so embarrassing.

27 September, 2007 01:56  
Blogger First Nations chimed in with...

it's in Urban Dictionary. ever since Subservient No More brought them up over at her place (You gotta go, Surly, she's FANTASTIC) i've been seeing them everywhere. kind of like when you get a red car? yeah.
how DO you tell an emo kid from an indie kid? it's the black hair over one eye, right?

27 September, 2007 02:53  
Blogger surly girl chimed in with...

rockmother - that just made my day....

emo - short for Emotional, for all that angsty nobody-understands-me music so beloved of the fringed ones.

blimey, there's a whole other post in there somewhere...

27 September, 2007 19:37  
Anonymous bohémienne chimed in with...

I practice the Doris school of motherhood (see above), wherein I ask my teenagers annoyingly naive questions about what's in and out. They love it... gives them something to mock me about.

29 September, 2007 14:19  

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