Saturday, July 21, 2007

Shit off, Potter

It just about summed it up for me.

The thirty-something man, dressed in generic supermarket jeans and a grubby polo shirt, gleefully ferreting through the last few pages of the new Harry Potter in the entrance of our local Tescos, eager to find out who dies immediately so that he could feel part of some ridiculous national/global obsession. That was the moment when I realised how sick to fucking death I am of Harry Fucking Potter.

There were grownups in wizard costumes outside Waterstones at quarter to midnight last night. Grownups. In wizard costumes. Oh, fuck off. Fuck off with your adult edition of the new book. Fuck off with dicking around in fancy dress in the high street on a Friday night so you can go to work on Monday and breathlessly recount to your indifferent colleagues (who all hate you anyway, except for that strange girl from Accounts with the wonky teeth and one boob bigger than the other) just how much fun it all was and how, like, really great the book is and how sad it is that there won't be any more.

Because, do you know what? It makes you look a twat.

Far be it from me to dictate what people should or shouldn't read, or like, or do for fun at the weekends. It's the smugness that irritates me. The air of belonging to some exclusive group of people who are prepared to queue for endless hours on a rain-lashed pavement so they can buy a flabby, third-rate children's book that will still be perfectly available at nine the next morning (and probably in the remainders bin in Woolworths by christmas). Do what you like. I just really, really don't get it, that's all.

Plus, I have a sneaking suspicion that Dan Brown and JK Rowling are one and the same person. I mean, you never see them in the same room together, do you?

Fucking Harry Potter. Bollocks to him.


Anonymous Ekropia chimed in with...

I think that's my fave D-Flat post ever!

21 July, 2007 18:04  
Blogger longcat chimed in with...

oh surly you do make me happy,

classic irritated at something that irritates me too...


21 July, 2007 19:35  
Anonymous Despina chimed in with...

Brilliant post! Ugh Dan Brown, now he really takes the piss!

22 July, 2007 00:08  
Blogger The Junior Doctor chimed in with...

"Hi Babe, it's Michael here"

"Hello stranger! Long time no speak how are you doing?"

"Working hard - as always. I was wondering - I have seen you for what seems like ages do you fancy meeting up for a drink on Saturday night?"

"Oh I'd love to but I think I'm gonna be reading the new Harry Potter book"

Child Wizard 1 Junior Doctor 0

Grrrrr... Harry Potter is ruining my love life

22 July, 2007 11:27  
Anonymous The Girl Behind the Partition chimed in with...

I can confirm the madness! There we were, Surly Girl, The Other Half, myself and my other half, henceforward known as Chimpboy, wandering home from the pub and there they all were queuing up outside Waterstones at nearly midnight, grown adults, and lots of children who really should have been IN BED!! The worst thing was that there was a fair number there when we wandrered too the pub earlier in the evening, sitting on the cold , wet pavement, frantically re-reading the last few pages of the 6th book like some geeky nerd doing last minute swotting before an exam! They won't be asking questions before they let you buy it!

Hogwarts? No! Fuckwits!

22 July, 2007 11:42  
Anonymous rivergirlie chimed in with...

it's quite, quite tragic. and people have been rushing to post their poxy reviews too. lalalai'mnotlisteningbecausei'mnotinterested

22 July, 2007 14:51  
Blogger Billy chimed in with...

At least it's the last one. By the way, look at this lot.


22 July, 2007 18:37  
Blogger Beth chimed in with...

hmm, well - I bought it at ten o'clock on Saturday morning and finished it at noon today. I wasn't going to bother banging on about it ... but if it pisses people off *that* much...I just might...

22 July, 2007 19:46  
Blogger Hippernicus chimed in with...

Oh, how I hate Dan Brown. I expectorate in his general direction.

HP is wildly over-hyped. And they are paper bricks those books!

22 July, 2007 23:20  
Blogger GreatSheElephant chimed in with...

They started queueing on Wednesday in London. Fools.

22 July, 2007 23:53  
Anonymous Miss Despina chimed in with...

I saw a girl yesterday walking around the historical centre of Prague - ie one of the most beautiful cities in the world - almost get run over because she was crossing a road whilst reading harry potter. Stupid cow.

23 July, 2007 09:52  
Blogger Cheezy chimed in with...

Yes yes yes! I'd like to take my thumbs and push HP's stupid glasses right into his gormless guileless eyeballs... blinding the cunt. Oh yes.

23 July, 2007 15:58  
Blogger First Nations chimed in with...

what posesses a grown person to dress in a comic book outfit and march around in public ANYWAY? say it loud, i'm lame and i'm proud??

*diverts attention away from FrankenFurter outfit*

23 July, 2007 18:32  
Anonymous Eliza chimed in with...

i frickin love the harry potter books and find it annoying and some what small minded that people see it as an insult on our culture to do so- it's escapism and a bloddy good read! so what if someone carries it around a historical site- some one else may be carrying around an ipod- doea that him/her less "cultural" or worldy?

having said that- i wouldn't queue up at midnight to buy it, and hats don't suit me.

24 July, 2007 13:06  
Anonymous Damian chimed in with...

I've bought my copy to read when we go on holidays, in a fortnight. I will be reading it for the same reason I like to read yesterday's newspaper when I'm on holiday - becuase nothing in it matters any more.

24 July, 2007 17:07  
Blogger Teeny chimed in with...

I love the Harry Potter books, but I didn't don a witch's hat and go to pick it up at midnight on the Friday. I waited patiently until the postman came on Saturday, bearing a parcel from Amazon. Then I ripped it greedily out of his hands and did a lap of honour round my living room.

Not everyone likes them, but I'm all for anything that gets more people reading.

27 July, 2007 15:23  
Anonymous Anonymous chimed in with...

{peers warily from behind sofa}

I think its ok to come out now Surls. It looks like the Pottermania has all but died down.

01 August, 2007 10:32  
Blogger surly girl chimed in with...

might do. am not sure if everyone's lost interest in this blog or if it's just me...

01 August, 2007 22:55  
Anonymous sooz chimed in with...

You've gone to ground reading it Surly - you've convinced none of us!

02 August, 2007 13:06  
Anonymous belladona chimed in with...

Yeah, come back and rant about something else, I keep wasting valuable chocolate-eating minutes checking this blog to no avail. And anyway I quite like Harry Pooter tho' I do agree with chaucers bitch about the unfortunate Aslan scene. Bollocks.

06 August, 2007 22:09  
Anonymous Thursday chimed in with...

So, either you're happy, you've died or just lost interest. I hope it's the former.

08 August, 2007 20:22  

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