Sunday, June 10, 2007

Another post entitled "Arse".

I am a twat.
We had a fabulous day yesterday. A little bit of shopping in town, then a stroll through the park with an ice cream before heading home and bimbling off to the pub. It was a hot, sunny day and the prospect of beer and the papers was an enticing one.
So enticing, in fact, that I completely failed to put any sunscreen on. I can't help it. I'm still not really up to speed with the concept that the British sun, redolent with years of damp and the echo of fish-paste sandwiches on windswept beaches, has anything like the bollocks to offer more than a faint sizzle. I mean, I grew up in the seventies - and nobody wore sun cream then, etc, etc. The "mole" I had removed from the sole of my foot a couple of years ago (which would have been promoted to the slightly more important-sounding "melanoma" if I hadn't spotted it and legged it off to the doctors) is an abberation - I just can't seem to assimilate applying cream before heading to a beer garden. It feels....poncy - like wearing a cocktail dress to the pub, or laughing at Ben Elton's jokes about politics.
Anyway. Three hours later and we decided to head home. It was a little bit warm, granted, but I thought we'd got away with it. You can guess where we were up to by about nine o'clock last night, can't you?
To sum up: I am redder than Mick Hucknall's ball bag. There is a bottle of aloe vera body lotion in the fridge and every hour or so I wincingly soothe my parched skin. I feel like a sausage on a barbecue, or Vanessa Feltz in a size sixteen dress - even my clothes hurt.
I am a twat.

11 Comments:

Anonymous Thursday chimed in with...

Lemon juice. It'll do something between itching and stinging like hell for a while but if you can stand it, it'll take the heat and burn out.

10 June, 2007 21:15  
Anonymous Pawlu chimed in with...

Yeah, this sort of happens on a regular basis down in Malta...

Think 'plenty of showers', plenty of moisturiser' and you'll be fine. Incidentally, it's useful to have some 'aftersun' hanging around at home (it's like suntan lotion for when you've overdone it). It's pretty much a household necessity down here on the sunny isles, though I can imagine not finding any in the UK :D

11 June, 2007 07:18  
Blogger Homer chimed in with...

Surely aftersun is just body lotion that they fragrance with something reassuringly cool-sounding like cucumber or green tea?

11 June, 2007 07:48  
Blogger Arabella chimed in with...

It's not pretty, but applying natural yoghurt to sun burn can help. Just slap it on (the 'set' kind doesn't slide off) and lie down on a towel for a while.

It's very hard to develop the automatic-apply sun block-mindset, even after skin cancer. I keep bottles of the stuff in bags, by the bathroom mirror, in the car, to help me get it into my thick skull. There are sun hats all over the place as well.
One way to go is using a daily moisturizer containing a good sunscreen. For the rest of me, I cover up with clothes.
Hope you soon feel soothed.

11 June, 2007 10:47  
Blogger Donna chimed in with...

I empathize Surly. I spent 3 hours at the allotment on Saturday. Due to the fact that I have lost SO much weight, my trousers kept slipping low, I was bending over digging and weeding and the result was that I managed to burn 3 inches of my lower back including my arse crack. Thankfully, it wasn't quite as sore as your sunburn sounds.

11 June, 2007 10:58  
Anonymous Loops chimed in with...

I'm almost in the same boat - I spent the day at Rural Pastimes at Euston Hall and I've burnt my chest and neck. Luckily I was wearing 'big' clothes so I got away lightly

11 June, 2007 13:24  
Blogger Cheezy chimed in with...

Mick Hucknall's ballbag eh?... Ooooouch... I didn't need that imagery while eating my strawberries... :-(

11 June, 2007 15:43  
Blogger GreatSheElephant chimed in with...

I spent yesterday covered in factor 50 and I STILL got burnt. Yesterday was weird. We're in the end times, I tell ya.

11 June, 2007 17:20  
Blogger frangelita chimed in with...

At least you didn't make the mistake of wearing a big fuck-off crucifix while sunbathing. And then find to your horror that a large cross was branded on your chest.

11 June, 2007 20:14  
Blogger violetforthemoment chimed in with...

Surly, please promise me you'll never use the phrase 'Mick Hucknall's ball bag' ever ever again?? I didn't dare click on the Hucknall link once I saw it was a Google Images page. Gah.

11 June, 2007 20:19  
Anonymous sooz chimed in with...

I was going to suggest natural yoghurt too - and toothpaste.

Not together.

And not whitening toothpaste! (or gel)

11 June, 2007 23:01  

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