Sunday, May 27, 2007

A thought

Ikea is only a good idea until you get there. At that point it turns unremittingly shit.

It is a lot like "Great" Yarmouth in that respect.


Blogger Murph chimed in with...

"Rickinghall Inferior" near Diss is a lot less of a let down when you get there. Or Gravesend, come to that.

27 May, 2007 19:27  
Blogger surly girl chimed in with...

i've learned my lesson with the 'mouth. first couple of years i lived up this way i always thought it would be funny to go and see how pikey and depressing it was. never turned out to be anything other than hideous. i am proudly four years yarmouth-free...

27 May, 2007 19:36  
Blogger Geoff chimed in with...

You don't get free pencils at the seaside.

Our Ikea is even more shit than it used to be. It used to take an hour to get round. Now it's bigger and takes two.

27 May, 2007 21:06  
Blogger Vicus Scurra chimed in with...

I have only been to ikea in the USA. This was before they had them over here, I think.
I will never go again, and refuse to accompany the saintly Mrs S. whenever she suggests that it would be a good idea to go.
Surly Girl. It is a shop. Nothing good can come of visiting it. It is nice to see you deciding that it is not worth visiting. Next you have to rid yourself of the notion that the idea of visiting it is in any way attractive. I will be there for you on this difficult journey.
I have been to Great Yarmouth. It was about 50 years ago, and I remember nothing of it. I am sure that it was not as traumatic as a visit to ikea.
Geoff. Those two hours will never come back. You could have taught yourself to play the accordion in that time.

27 May, 2007 22:48  
Anonymous Miss Despina chimed in with...

Last time my other half and I went to Ikea we nicked loads of teabags from the café, and then got so bored that we started arguing about nothing in preposterous Italian accents, and threatened to throw plates - it was funny... (see what that place drives me to!)

28 May, 2007 10:47  
Blogger realdoc chimed in with...

Northern Ireland is so shit we don't even have Ikea.

28 May, 2007 11:22  
Blogger Billy chimed in with...

Westward Ho! is shit, but at least you get to say afterwards you spent time in an ejaculation.

28 May, 2007 14:29  
Blogger First Nations chimed in with...

while i love ikea, their checkout system is less of a system than it is a huge relentless grinding maw of boredom, aching feet, screaming toddlers and checkers who have qualified for the job on the basis of their having no experience running a csh register and not being able to lift more than a packet of sugar without slipping a disk. it's like a vast stockyard full of cattle wearing too many fragrances at once and brandishing cheap lamps overhead.

i can't wait to go back.

28 May, 2007 16:12  
Blogger Doris chimed in with...


I have been to Great Yarmouth. I used to be taken as a girl, on the annual coach outing, with my gran.She always insisted we go to the huge joke shop and used to spend her pension on boobie doorbells and whoopie cushions. I remember we went to see Danny La Rue at the end of the pier. None of it was that Great as I recall.

I have never been to Ikea. I have paid my dues.

28 May, 2007 21:20  
Blogger ickle_bro chimed in with...

I got lost in Ikea and never found the way out

28 May, 2007 21:37  
Anonymous Other Half chimed in with...

Real Doc - you have just convinced me to move the family lock, stock & barrel to Northern Ireland with that comment alone !

As for Ikea, I don't know what possesses us to go. We want our house nicely furnished and this warehouse offers us the chance to do it within a reasonable budget but the minute we walk through the door it makes us wish we'd bitten the bullet and spent the extra cash at the Co-Op instead !!!

29 May, 2007 08:59  
Blogger Inexplicable DeVice chimed in with...

Imagine an IKEA in Yarmouth: Would the two negatives cancel each other out?

What am I thinking?! Of course they wouldn't. It'd just be doubly shit.

29 May, 2007 12:31  
Blogger Cheezy chimed in with...

Whenever I get lumbered with the task of hauling shit back from Ikea in Croydon, I always save myself from the worst of it (i.e. dodging chavs in the showroom) by parking my arse in the cafe and sullenly eating a large amount of Swedish meatballs...

Does this option exist in Great Yarmouth? If not, Ikea's definitely better.

29 May, 2007 12:44  
Blogger Homer chimed in with...

Lots of multicoloured plastic, high levels of obesity, stuff you wouldn't really trust not to fall apart if you sat on it, cheap chips aplenty - yes, I see the parallels.

What furniture shop is the equivalent of Aldeburgh, I wonder? That "I saw you coming" one from Harry & Paul?

29 May, 2007 12:57  
Blogger Eliza chimed in with...

now now children. i won't have ANYONE badmouth great yarmouth...

*tip toes out quietly*

29 May, 2007 13:05  
Anonymous Femme chimed in with...

You have no idea of the pain when mixing Ikea with Western Australians, who by their nature despise queuing and cheap furniture - and that's just the staff...

29 May, 2007 14:36  
Blogger surly girl chimed in with...

oi, eliza! stop right there!

do you live in yarmouth?


29 May, 2007 19:00  
Blogger Arabella chimed in with...

GORM. Says it all really.

29 May, 2007 23:32  
Anonymous Moobs chimed in with...

I'm not sure I have ever seen so much wisdom packed into 3 sentences.

I have to defend gravesend though. I lived there and my view of Tilbury power station across the marshes was awe-inspiring ... or something

30 May, 2007 00:26  
Blogger Eliza chimed in with...


kinda. i hail from that way.... sorry!

30 May, 2007 10:56  

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