Sunday, May 06, 2007

The One Where Nobody Comments...

..because really, this one's for me.

Fall Out Boy. What's that all about? I mean, I'm not after a deconstruction of their lyrical direction, or anything. They're Mostly Harmless, as far as I can tell. Small Person is lobbying hard for a cd for her birthday, and as far as that goes we're all fine. If seven-year-olds are their target audience then they're bang on the money.

What bothers me is the unspoken issue of the spectacular weight gain of Patrick-That-Sings (I understand that his last name is 'Stump' but we're not going there). Why is everyone oblivious to it? Musical direction aside, the music press seems to be turning a blind eye to his miraculous transformation from lithe indie kid to 80's Saturday afternoon semi-pro UK wrestler. If it's a marketing tool, it's working. I for one am transfixed. I can't think of anything I enjoy more than watching Kerrang! TV of an afternoon and witnessing first-hand the unexplained bloating that occurs between the "Dance Dance" and "Arse Face"* videos. I understand that with fame, if you're lucky, comes fortune. It just seems that Fatrick has overindulged in the buying-doughnuts phase of fame that is apparently the first thing to strike those latterly-struggling muso types.

I appreciate that nine-and-a-half out of ten people couldn't give a shit about this. But, you see, that's the beauty of blogging. You can think out loud and trust the grown-ups to remember where the off-switch is.

Off you go.

* I know it's technically "Arms Race". But, for the love of god**, get some post production. Or elocution lessons. Or something.

** I know I'm about two months late with this. It doesn't mean it hasn't bothered me though. It just underlines how chronically lazy I am.


Blogger claire chimed in with...

ooh, harsh.

when he googles himself later today, he is going to be quite upset.

you've made a rockstar* cry.

*or something like it.

07 May, 2007 15:43  
Blogger First Nations chimed in with...

these days they either get rich and discover amphetamines, or get rich and discover steroids. he got rich and discovered beer. he's a rebel!!!!

07 May, 2007 18:22  
Blogger Geoff chimed in with...

i lke the chmps on the vdeo.

cn u ride tandm?

07 May, 2007 19:18  
Anonymous betty chimed in with...

Perhaps when he was a kid he was so poor that he didn't eat, which is why he's pigging out now.

He definitely looks like a yokel though. Stick him in a smock, some wellies held together with string, and a bit of straw in his gob and he'd be happy as Larry.

07 May, 2007 19:28  
Blogger Urban Chick chimed in with...

see, i wasn't going to comment 'cause i have no idea who he is but then you added a picture and i thought it was chris evans

08 May, 2007 09:24  
Blogger funny thing chimed in with...

The rule is, you either get lardy or you become anorexic. He is probably exploring the possibilities through the medium of Clarks Pies.

08 May, 2007 21:25  
Anonymous Other Half chimed in with...

I've had a near 40 year diet of Mars Bar, Twix and Kit Kat supplemented in recent years by gallons of Guinness and even my face isn't that fat !

The boy must have done some serious porking up to have such cheeks.

Greetings my love, sent from an internet centre somewhere in the mid-Atlantic between Philadelphia and Bermuda. I'm not exactly sure where as we've been circling for days trying to avoid a storm.

08 May, 2007 21:50  
Blogger surly girl chimed in with...

get you,looking for the sympathy vote. what about me sitting at home alone pining etc etc...

seriously tho, can anyone offer any advice re teeth-grinding? am so tense i can see me being toothless in about four months, max.

stupid work-related absences.

08 May, 2007 23:16  
Blogger surly girl chimed in with...

i should clarify. it's not fat-out boy that's making me tense.

really, i'm not that shallow.


08 May, 2007 23:29  
Blogger Femme Fontanelle chimed in with...

It's history repeating itself - I have three words for you: Manic Street Preachers.

(The guitarist of Fall Out Boy'll go missing now, just watch and the police'll say it's all my fault for making a correlation.)

I know, Boo, hiss, horrible Femme.

09 May, 2007 06:26  
Anonymous rivergirlie chimed in with...

oh puh-lease! i went to a lost prophets concert (yeah - i know) the other day with my son and his friend. one of the support bands was aiden - what a bunch of porkers!
we weren't like that, were we?
what's wrong with the youth of today? haven't they discovered speed? and the music! no tune! no words! nothing to pogo and gob along with at all!

09 May, 2007 14:24  

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