Monday, November 06, 2006

Why the Internet is bad...

Bit of a busy week this week. What with the imminent horror of taking my mother to see a singing dustman, a visit from a friend tomorrow evening that will necessitate my nodding sympathetically for anything up to four hours, a Big Night Out on Thursday and a usual weekend of debauchery I may not have much posting time available to me.

So.

It’s discussion time.

I went to Fancy London on Saturday with Kellycat. We met up with Slurker and LC and got rather, ahem, plastered. It was ace – I poured beer down my front, we had such a revolting meal that we left the pub without paying, and the snarking had to be heard to be believed.

Now, I believe I’ve touched before on how geeky and sad the whole blogging thing can be perceived as being. As Slurker pointed out, being a top blogger is the social equivalent of being one of Britain’s Top Five Trainspotters. But where does it stop? How much do we willingly immerse ourselves in the wankiness of the blogging vernacular? Apparently, some early bloggers referred to themselves as “escribitionists” which is so Clever that it makes my brain itch. Nowadays, the blogging world, I’m sorry, Blogosphere, is full of sex bloggers (who will start referring to themselves as Sloggers, or Blexers, or something anytime in the next thirty seconds and we’ll all have to learn a new word), photo bloggers, blog pimps, podcasts, link whores, tech blogs, blogrolls, vlogs, moblogs, warblogs…it’s endless. People who get sacked have been Dooced. Lawyers who blog don’t even have a blog – they have a blawg (Do you see what they did there? Do you?). See this Wikipedia entry to understand just how horrible it can get (Bloll? Instalanche? Momosphere???).

All of the preceding expressions are enough to make me feel slightly uncomfortable when using them in polite society. I always feel a bit like I’m quoting from my Brownie Handbook, or owning up to playing Dungeons and Dragons, or something. However, ladies and gentlemen of that-not-sad-really-practice-of-writing-on-the-internet-like-an-electronic-Anne-Frank, surely the worst, wankiest blog-speak so far is…..(and I can hardly bring myself to even type it)…

Blovellist.

As in “So. How many of us here today* are actually Blovellists then?”.

The horror. The unspeakable horror. What say you?

* None of us said this. It wasn't us. Really.

15 Comments:

Blogger Kellycat chimed in with...

So you've got a book deal then? Yeah I heard that.

I've just read one of the Blovelists' posts which lists all of the Blovelists but I still can't work out which is the one in the yoghurt hairband.

06 November, 2006 18:25  
Anonymous Ole Phat Stu chimed in with...

'Twas a dark and stormy blog . . .

06 November, 2006 18:50  
Blogger LC chimed in with...

What's the word for people who sit in the corner of the pub, shitfaced, saying horrible things about the blovellists clothes and haircuts?

I vote for blastards.

06 November, 2006 20:31  
Blogger Huw chimed in with...

Blovellist: sounds like some disease the chaps in the trenches were struck down with.

06 November, 2006 21:31  
Blogger surly girl chimed in with...

shhhh! don't let on!

07 November, 2006 08:04  
Anonymous Other Half chimed in with...

How about blunts ?

I'm still giggling at SG and Kellycat's tales of the day. Almost makes me wish I'd been there, well not quite almost, well actually not at all but you get my drift !

07 November, 2006 09:01  
Blogger The Murphmeister chimed in with...

It's all very well until someone loses an eye.

07 November, 2006 13:52  
Blogger Homer chimed in with...

Ah! NOW your e-mail makes sense!

07 November, 2006 15:43  
Blogger First Nations chimed in with...

I don't even talk about it. anymore the word 'blog' carries a certain 'child molesting MySpace perv' cachet.
*scurries off with coat collar pulled up*

07 November, 2006 17:45  
Blogger mad muthas chimed in with...

how bloomin' mind bloggling!

08 November, 2006 01:11  
Blogger anna chimed in with...

< delurks >

Surely the word 'Blurnal' is worse...

But then, that wasn't not really your point, I spose.

Excuse me.

< relurks >

08 November, 2006 01:13  
Anonymous Ian chimed in with...

Enjoyed your list of Blogosphere inhabitants. What's a link whore?

08 November, 2006 07:27  
Blogger anna chimed in with...

And 'wasn't not really' isn't the world's best constructed sentence, either. And probably undermined any opint I'd been hoping to make. Boo. Apologies for that.


I'll just go and sit back over here now.

Excuse me.

08 November, 2006 14:39  
Blogger james henry chimed in with...

I heard 'blogevists' second hand via LC earlier today, and decided to immediately scrub my brain cleann with bleach.

It didn't work.

08 November, 2006 17:50  
Blogger DavetheF chimed in with...

Presumably they suffer from blogorrhea.

08 November, 2006 19:35  

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