Sunday, October 01, 2006


Three things I saw on my trip to Toys R Us (don't ask) yesterday morning:

1) A respectable-looking middle aged couple peering intently through the shutters on the local off licence. At ten thirty in the morning. Presumably they were thirsty.

2) An elderly couple (she had a perm, he had an oxygen tank) having a picnic in a people carrier, in the Toys R Us car park. It seems an odd choice of venue to me, but then I am not a mental.

3) A lone Indian man, standing by the side of the road, staring Very Hard up into a tree.

It was all a bit odd really. Like a David Lynch film*, or something. I was almost glad to get home. And then when I did get home, my father was still talking about How He Ran The Company Single-Handedly For Thirty Years, and Tales From National Service, and The Golfing Story About That Man, You Know The One, The One With The Leg, and I very nearly went back to see what was up in that tree.

* I have no idea whether these are the sort of things that happen in David Lynch films. It just seemed to be the thing to say, really.

DISCLAIMER: I love my father very much. He lacks, however, the thing that makes you realise that you have been talking continuously for twenty-seven minutes and that the person you are talking at has gone to sleep, or to the shops.


Anonymous Stu Savory chimed in with...

The Indian gentleman was obviously planning a trip on the London tube to the easterly end of the Hammersmith and City line. However the gusty wind had blown his tube map up into the tree. Not the tree he was looking up, but the one next to it. And therefore he was looking for Barking up the wrong tree ;-)

ta da!

01 October, 2006 18:32  
Blogger LC chimed in with...

Saying stuff like "I feel like a character in a [random highbrow director/author] [movie/novel]" is definitely in my top ten list of tricks for appearing cleverer than you really are.

Oooh, there's a thought... *scurries off to write new post*

01 October, 2006 23:36  
Anonymous Other Half chimed in with...

I thought I did really well over the weekend. Your Dad talked at me for hours and I appeared attentive and interested throughout (I've mastered sleeping with my eyes open !).

That said he is a great character and it was a marvellous weekend so was totally worth the liver damage that will no doubt follow so much alcohol.

02 October, 2006 09:39  
Blogger The Murphmeister chimed in with...

I didn't know Chris Evans had a grown up daughter.

02 October, 2006 10:08  
Blogger Fifi chimed in with...

OH - you have officially passed the Dad Test - if he drones on at you for hours about those same old stories (bless him) whilst you both consume shed loads of whiskey it means he really, really likes you!

02 October, 2006 12:39  
Blogger First Nations chimed in with...

it was exactly like a David Lynch film, with the exception that no one was masturbating.
as far as you know.

02 October, 2006 17:43  
Blogger Donna chimed in with...

2) Are you sure? ;o)

02 October, 2006 18:06  
Blogger frangelita chimed in with...

So what did you get from Toys R Us? Was it good? Can you use it in your new job?

02 October, 2006 20:45  
Blogger surly girl chimed in with...

trivial pursuit and junior scrabble - not so much use at work...

03 October, 2006 08:24  
Blogger 30-Something chimed in with...

I hold you wholeheartedly responsible for my David Lynch-esque dream I had last night that even had the Twin Peaks fucking theme tune in it!!

03 October, 2006 21:34  
Blogger Jemima chimed in with...

Five loud laughs from me. A very amusing set of anecdotes.

08 October, 2006 14:01  

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