Wednesday, September 27, 2006

The shame

So anyway, I went to work today and felt much better after a roast dinner (did I mention I get a hot meal for free every day? Woo!). Since the Other Half gave me a lift in this morning, and Fun Colleague (not Rupert-Bear-lady - I've found another one!) gave me a lift home, I decided to cycle to Tesco. For some exercise. And some wine. Ahem.

On the way home I cycled along a bit of pavement that technically isn't a cycle path. Where we live, there are miles and miles of cycle paths but since I am inept to the point of collapse at the art of navigation, I've never managed to find the bit that goes to the little supermarket just up the road. I prefer to, rather than risk the enormous buses and chavved up Saxos that populate the local roads, run the gauntlet of disapproving pedestrians. Which is all fine*, generally.

Pedalling along a particularly narrow stretch of pavement, I noticed a teenage couple up ahead. They were all tracksuits and disdain, and I suffer from low self-esteem around teenagers, so I was rather hoping they would hear my approach over the sound of their snogging-in-public-with-tongues and let me past.

It was all going rather well, so far.

As I neared them, the sulky hooligans young people heard me approach. They moved to one side. Excellent.

And as I passed them, the plastic packet of mince in the carrier bag dangling from my right handlebar swung up against the spokes of my front wheel and emitted a large farting noise, of the sort that cannot easily be ignored. Exacerbating my humiliation by blurting an inadvertent, rather campy cry of "ooh, hello!", I cycled frantically homewards, feigning ignorance of the raucous adolescent laughter trailing in my wake.

Bastards.

* I know. Whatever. Write to your MP. I'm over it.

15 Comments:

Blogger Urban Chick chimed in with...

"They were all tracksuits and disdain."

what a fantastic line - i love it!

27 September, 2006 20:25  
Blogger realdoc chimed in with...

I also suffer from self esteem issues around teenagers. At least you don't have to listen to intimate details about their sex lives. Now that will give you an inferiority complex. Still, they may do it all the time, but they probably don't do it right.

27 September, 2006 21:16  
Blogger claire chimed in with...

After the farting noise, what did you think saying hello would do? just curious...

self-esteem issues around teenagers. yeah... me too. they're all so thin and smug. I miss that so much.

28 September, 2006 03:21  
Blogger Donna chimed in with...

Funny. That is very funny. Although I was, I have to admit, expecting the mince packet to split as it got caught in the spokes and spew forth ... hehe. Funny all the same. And I can imagine how embarassed you were.

28 September, 2006 09:47  
Anonymous Other Half chimed in with...

Can I take credit for giving you the gift of the campy cry of "Ooooh, hello" ? That one sneaks out frequently and it's far better than saying fuck or bugger !!!

28 September, 2006 10:42  
Blogger The Murphmeister chimed in with...

It just needed the male teenager to do a Sid James laugh ...

28 September, 2006 13:42  
Blogger claire chimed in with...

Question answered, thank you!

Too funny...

28 September, 2006 15:37  
Blogger Heather chimed in with...

I just snorted tea out of my nose laughing- thank you for that!

28 September, 2006 15:48  
Blogger Inexplicable DeVice chimed in with...

And I just snorted coffee out of mine! Thanks

28 September, 2006 19:30  
Blogger First Nations chimed in with...

*cracking up*

28 September, 2006 19:43  
Blogger Homer chimed in with...

Well done, girlie - normally I just smile at blogs but that post had my ROFLMAO, as those annoying teenagers would have it.

28 September, 2006 21:46  
Blogger tom909 chimed in with...

Top post Surly. I don't usually crack up reading a blog, but you've really done it for me there.
LOL for several minutes - I can't believe the good lord made that happen - sheer genius!

29 September, 2006 18:07  
Blogger Spinsterella chimed in with...

Surly, I am TERRIFIED of teenagers, so I think you are unquestionably brave.

(But surely that '*' belongs by the phrase 'plastic packet of mince'?)

29 September, 2006 20:29  
Blogger frangelita chimed in with...

I still sort of think I'm a teenager. Then I look at them. Then I look at me. Then I realise it's been SIX YEARS since I was a teenager.

I have to tick the adult box in forms and everything.

29 September, 2006 21:39  
Blogger Fisigirl chimed in with...

Oh my God, i'm so glad it isn't just me that things like that happen too - that made me laugh my head off!

16 October, 2006 15:25  

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