Sunday, August 13, 2006

I spy with my little eye....

...something beginning with "P". That ends in "ervert". You can be one too, with the help of this week's featured product.

See what's happening without being seen, with the SpyScope pocket telescope. Now available to the general public, this amazing precision instrument weighs less than two ounces, and fits into your pocket like a pen. Imagine being able to delight in the antics of wildlife or even people without them knowing you are there.....enjoy landscapes and the detail within them - even watch people, in the park, on the beach, in fact, wherever you like!

Um. Okay. Where to start with this one? Voyeurism as a recreational activity? The inclusion of this advert in a Sunday paper, despite its slightly sinister overtones of covert surveillance on your neighbours? And where will it end? Will it eventually be possible to kit your entire life out from the advertisments in the colour supplements of weekend newspapers?

Imagine the convenience of it all - you could get up in the morning, slip on a comfy pair of tan slacks, a breathable cotton shirt with (for reasons that are beyond me) epaulettes and some expandable, super-comfy plastic sandals and spend the day spying on the woman over the road (she drinks, you know, and if you wait until after nine in the evening she'll take her top off, forget where her nightie is and sob gently for half an hour or so before passing out), all without the irritating intrusion of the outside world. If you order yourself a Dell, you can get your groceries delivered too and never see the other side of your front door again! Result!

In other news, "Tribute" by Tenacious D has been playing on a loop in my head for a record-breaking four days. Make it stop.


Blogger Billy chimed in with...

Whenever I have a song stuck in my head, I usually find a rousing chorus of the theme to "Jim'll Fix it" will shift it.

Of course I then I have that stuck in my head, which is often worse.

13 August, 2006 19:20  
Blogger james henry chimed in with...

I wotched you tipe this.

13 August, 2006 22:15  
Blogger surly girl chimed in with...

i know - i could hear your wipe-clean nylon slacks rustling, via the magic of my Hear Everything Your Neighbours Are Saying Discreet Eavesdropper (TM)

13 August, 2006 22:18  
Blogger suburban wonder chimed in with...

Hah! Perfect also for the neighborhood busybody that can't mind her own business.

Earworms suck - try singing "It's a small world." That ought to oust it. Of course, then you're left with Small World as your earworm.

13 August, 2006 23:23  
Anonymous Other Half chimed in with...

Tribute was written for that express sit in your mind playing endlessly until eventually you are brainwashed into believing Tenacious D's mantra of being the most rockingest band in the whole world.

Oh and I take it I'd best not bring my personal collection of pocket telescopes home with me ? Although if you'd seen our neighbours you'd know why that is a very bad idea !!!

14 August, 2006 16:19  
Anonymous Stu Savory chimed in with...

Telescopes were originally invented by the Persians,
this is why their language is called Far-See

*exeunt omnes, left, groaning*

14 August, 2006 16:30  
Blogger Arabella chimed in with...

Gadgets like these - well it's the death knell for net curtains.

14 August, 2006 17:25  
Blogger First Nations chimed in with...

mega ick.
Add that to hi-res pinhole remote cameras and phone-cams, and all you can do is wonder how many times you've been featured in some online 'upskirt spectacular' desparately scrabbling to find the waistband of your pantyhose in some public restroom.

um, sorry i even brought that up, actually.]
never mind.

14 August, 2006 18:21  
Blogger Stef the engineer chimed in with...

Is it wrong to really, really want a spyscope telescope like the one Surly Girl mentions on her blog...?

14 August, 2006 21:08  
Blogger surly girl chimed in with...


*draws the blackout curtains*

14 August, 2006 21:55  
Blogger frangelita chimed in with...

I had Put your lighters up by some r and b ho in my head this morning. Unfortunately, it was ousted by my friend bringing up that stupid Sandi Thom pink rocker/flowers song. Which was worse.

14 August, 2006 22:40  
Blogger garfer chimed in with...

I want one.

14 August, 2006 22:51  
Blogger surly girl chimed in with...

li'l kim vs sandi thom. discuss.

that is all.

garfer, you scare me.

14 August, 2006 22:57  
Blogger othur-me chimed in with...

I would never want one of those pens, but I have one question. Do you think these mirrors glued to my shoetops are too obvious?

15 August, 2006 00:01  
Blogger tom909 chimed in with...

What a cracking idea! I'm off down the hardware to buy some superglue.

15 August, 2006 09:10  

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