I spy with my little eye....

...something beginning with "P". That ends in "ervert". You can be one too, with the help of this week's featured product.

See what's happening without being seen, with the SpyScope pocket telescope. Now available to the general public, this amazing precision instrument weighs less than two ounces, and fits into your pocket like a pen. Imagine being able to delight in the antics of wildlife or even people without them knowing you are there.....enjoy landscapes and the detail within them - even watch people, in the park, on the beach, in fact, wherever you like!

Um. Okay. Where to start with this one? Voyeurism as a recreational activity? The inclusion of this advert in a Sunday paper, despite its slightly sinister overtones of covert surveillance on your neighbours? And where will it end? Will it eventually be possible to kit your entire life out from the advertisments in the colour supplements of weekend newspapers?

Imagine the convenience of it all - you could get up in the morning, slip on a comfy pair of tan slacks, a breathable cotton shirt with (for reasons that are beyond me) epaulettes and some expandable, super-comfy plastic sandals and spend the day spying on the woman over the road (she drinks, you know, and if you wait until after nine in the evening she'll take her top off, forget where her nightie is and sob gently for half an hour or so before passing out), all without the irritating intrusion of the outside world. If you order yourself a Dell, you can get your groceries delivered too and never see the other side of your front door again! Result!

In other news, "Tribute" by Tenacious D has been playing on a loop in my head for a record-breaking four days. Make it stop.