Monday, July 03, 2006

Oh, piss OFF!!

Some people really annoy me.

I received an email today and the sender had customised their signature to include their qualifications. I find this unutterably wanky*.

Why on earth would I care what you got for your degree? The membership of the professional body I’m going to overlook – that could conceivably be useful on a business email (it still makes you a ponce though). But your degree? What possible purpose does that serve, apart from saying “look! I went to university! And got quite good marks!” It’s the electronic equivalent of sewing your swimming badge on your trunks. I could care less that you have a degree. In fact, I am now irrationally annoyed at your pointing this out to me and, as such, am now deliberately not responding to you.

Should I do the same, I wonder? Should my email signature now look like this?

Surly Girl GCSE French, Grade C

or this?

Surly Girl Picked last for rounders, 1979

Or maybe

Surly Girl Form Captain (suspended after stamping on a drink carton in the bus queue and making Simon Teff cry, punished by having to hold Mrs Peters’ hand until the bus came), 1985


* I know, I know. Professional reputation and all that. You only do it because you're entitled to - you worked hard for that degree (nobody ever does it if they got a third in Media, I notice) so why shouldn't you use those letters after your name? I hear what you're saying. I still think it makes you look a bit of a twat though.


Blogger LC chimed in with...

It's OK if you're a doctor or a professor, but anything else is just tragic.

LC BSC (Bronze Swimming Certificate)

03 July, 2006 19:11  
Blogger surly girl chimed in with...

this guy was a glorified estate agent, yet still felt compelled to advertise his glittering university career. twat. i'm glad i ignored him.

03 July, 2006 19:15  
Blogger Urban Chick chimed in with...

i was never picked last for rounders, more the case that i was the last one standing and was therefore pushed into the reluctant arms of the team who had lost the coin toss at the beginning

scottish swimmer, BAGA three award, both 1982

03 July, 2006 20:00  
Blogger Billy chimed in with...

There should only be anything like that on there is it relevant to the job they're doing and then only in a business e-mail.

Do people still give out business cards or are email signatures the new business cards or something?

03 July, 2006 20:10  
Blogger bedshaped chimed in with...

Suggestion for the car:
How about some AC/DC?

03 July, 2006 23:13  
Blogger mig bardsley chimed in with...

If I'd ended up as a *glorified estate agent* I'd be embarassed to admit I started off with a degree.
But maybe I think that because I have no degree and couldn't sell a treehouse to a monkey for peanuts.

And if I did have a degree I'd never be able to remember which letters I was supposed to use or what date it was anyway.

03 July, 2006 23:32  
Blogger First Nations chimed in with...

it is sort of sentitious, isn't it? like "I was a GOOD girl and paid ATTENTION in school, see?"

pft; screw ya.

04 July, 2006 02:02  
Blogger Kyahgirl chimed in with...

now now surly, let the small people have their day in the sun,

dropped out of University the first time due to too much partying-1979

04 July, 2006 03:55  
Blogger tom909 chimed in with...

It's like the guys with personalised number plates - I just see 'twat' when I see them.
Kind Regards
tom909, 9'O'levels.

04 July, 2006 09:04  
Anonymous Other Half chimed in with...

I fucked about at school, took loads of exams and failed them all !!!

04 July, 2006 09:09  
Blogger Wyndham chimed in with...

Nice post,

Wyndham, shortest boy in school but still spent every lunchtime in goal

04 July, 2006 09:48  
Blogger Donna chimed in with...

I totally agree.

Donna DD3 BR (Disco Dancing III - Blue Riband (that's a special award for being extra specially good (1981)))

04 July, 2006 12:03  
Blogger zanna chimed in with...

he's got a really small penis, it's just cos he can't show you his car in an email

zanna - certificate for diving to the bottom of swimming pool in my pj's to pick up brick

04 July, 2006 12:32  
Blogger Spinsterella chimed in with...


Spinny (Silver Medal for 6-hand-reel, Attical Feis, 1982.)

04 July, 2006 12:46  
Blogger frangelita chimed in with...

I think Spinny wins on the grounds of having the most confusing qualification ever.

Frangelita - came third out of four in the freestyle 25m swimming, 1994

wv - pckablkn - pack a book in

04 July, 2006 13:11  
Blogger Geoff chimed in with...

"I've seen your qualifications, you got a Ph.D.
I've got one art O-level, it did nothing for me...
Working for the rat race
You know you're wasting your time
Working for the rat race
You're no friend of mine."

Sorry, has no relevance. You just got me singing it.

04 July, 2006 13:52  
Blogger treespotter chimed in with...

i got kicked out of school three times, what do i put?

ace (almost) MSc. MA. MP.

04 July, 2006 15:54  
Blogger Spinsterella chimed in with...


Feis - Irish for festival or competition or something

6-hand-reel - An Irish dance done by 6 people

Attical - a VERY small village somewhere in N.I. There wasn't much competition.

Spinny (Irish A-level, Grade D, 1993)

04 July, 2006 16:22  
Anonymous Stu Savory chimed in with...

In view of your blog, I've decided to reinterpret my letters:
B.Sc. = Bull Schitt
M.S = More Shit
Ph.D = Piled Higher and Deeper

Stu (failed to swim the across the local river let alone the channel; I'm good in bed though (can sleep for DAYS!)).

04 July, 2006 20:58  
Blogger belladona chimed in with...

Just the sort of twat who probably got the shit kicked out of him at school and is still trying to make up for it.

Bella (2nd prize for art, aged 6 or 7 - that was out of the whole infants school, not just the year, though sadly a 5 year old won 1st prize with what was meant to be some sheep but was clearly a mess of cotton wool. I was robbed. Not that I've carried the emotional scars ever since, obviously.)

04 July, 2006 21:12  
Blogger funny thing chimed in with...

Bloody hell. You lot just can't wait to flash your credentials around.

Look at me, I haven't, I win, hurrah!

04 July, 2006 22:09  
Blogger funny thing chimed in with...

ps. That was from me;

FT Nat dip., Ba(hons)., ABBA, RAC, BBC, OCD, STD

04 July, 2006 22:10  
Blogger Kellycat chimed in with...

I could use this:

Kellycat, BA (Hons)Media and Cultural Studies

or I could use this:

Kellycat, 34D

Worryingly, I think the second would get me a better career.

05 July, 2006 07:21  
Blogger Brookelina chimed in with...

I used to be a recruiter, so I was always getting an interesting and steady stream of resumes (CV's) in my inbox. One that stands out was a fairly demented individual who had at the top of his resume: "4.0 GPA all through college. What was your GPA?"

05 July, 2006 16:24  
Blogger GreatSheElephant chimed in with...

a grammar pedant springs:

"I could care less that you have a degree" or "I couldn't care less that you have a degree"

Are you American perchance?

elephant (expelled from ballet class, 1970, first prize, New Woman InWear competition 1990, "shallow and speculative" - CIPR diploma essay 2005)

05 July, 2006 19:48  
Blogger Kyahgirl chimed in with...

surly, the comments on this post are brilliant. Whenever I want a laugh I'll come back here and read them.

Kyah BSCC dropout.
(Belgian Sheepdog club of Canada)


05 July, 2006 20:39  
Blogger SBB chimed in with...

Yes it is majorly twaty. I think people who put their qualifications on name cards are bad enough, let alone emails (absolutely horrified that my parents reamed me out about not having mine on my card)

Champion Dog Bark Impersonator, 1988, Grade School

08 July, 2006 08:12  

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