Friday, July 07, 2006

Going anywhere nice on holiday this year?

So anyway, we had a conversation today which was triggered by the realisation that the new boy in the post room wears one of those Beckham-esque alice band things.

I know everyone’s supposed to be all metrosexual these days. I know boys are allowed to moisturise, and combat the seven signs of ageing (just the seven? Really?), and feel the benefits of pentapeptides and boswellox (which I am still convinced was discovered by Tom Bosley off of Happy Days and Father Dowling Investigates [at least I was until I found out he was Tom Bosley and not Tom Boswell like I thought]) and wax their chests and all that. I understand that it’s acceptable for boys to do all those things, and I can even see the sense in some of it. But I feel a line ought to be drawn. I’m referring to men with a “hairstyle”.

Boys’ hair is all a bit involved at the moment, and I really don’t like it. I am particularly weirded out by boys who straighten their hair. I mean. It’s just wrong. In my personal opinion, boys who straighten their hair are a little bit creepy. Just a bit. It's just so vain*. I am also confused by all the sticky-up-bits-with-dave-hill-from-slade-fringe-and-a-ton-of-highlights that seem to be the style du jour.

Personally speaking, I could live with a man who moisturises. I could even put up with a certain amount of “styling” in the hair area. But if you have your own straighteners and take longer to get ready for a night out than I do, I’d be suggesting you went to stay at your mum’s. Just for a couple of nights. Until I have the locks changed. You know.

* I know, poor old downtrodden boys. Why shouldn't they be allowed to take pride in their appearance? But I even asked GBF if he would straighten his hair or wear an alice band and he was all like god, no. And he's a gay. [/stereotype]

19 Comments:

Blogger 30-Something chimed in with...

My sister was a bit sad when her husband left her. When she found out he'd took her straightners she was fucking furious!

07 July, 2006 19:55  
Blogger Tabby Rabbit chimed in with...

I shared a house with three blokes and they would all take longer than me to get ready. I always questioned this - they weren't even putting any slap on (or not noticeably so).

07 July, 2006 20:58  
Blogger Inexplicable DeVice chimed in with...

Boys with HAIR™ are too high maintenance.

I want a Man (he can lightly style his hair & moisturise but that's it).

07 July, 2006 21:35  
Blogger Z chimed in with...

My husband's bald. Takes him no time at all to get ready, even though, yes, he moisturises - but don't tell him I told you.
7 signs of aging for women, 8 for men - hair loss.

07 July, 2006 22:49  
Blogger The Swearing Lady chimed in with...

9. Erectile disfunction.

08 July, 2006 13:07  
Blogger tom909 chimed in with...

'Men Moisturising' - How creepy is that. What's wrong with them and what's wrong with the women - why aren't you ripping the piss out of them.
I'm so glad I live in the country where we're allowed to sweat and dress in old shirts and ripped trousers. And we get dirt on us and the girls love it - that's what men do. What woman wants woosy little sweet-smelling guys that worry about all that stuff. Round here if you wear aftershave you're a bit doubtful.
I absolutely hate fashion and thank god some parts of society still transcend it.

08 July, 2006 17:33  
Blogger Billy chimed in with...

As a self-described "lesbosexual" I have little want for alice bands. If I grow my hair long though, which doesn't happen very often, I can't help thinking hair slides would be a good thing.

08 July, 2006 20:32  
Blogger Zippy chimed in with...

Right, SG. Whatever happened to the manly look? Take me for example. (qsrao)

09 July, 2006 08:12  
Blogger Betty chimed in with...

Oi, Tom, you live in the country where the girls love men who are sweaty and covered in dirt. The last time I was in the country, they weren't called girls, they were called ewes and cows, heh heh.

09 July, 2006 12:28  
Blogger Geoff chimed in with...

I don't think even cows would want dirty hands on their teats.

09 July, 2006 14:08  
Blogger Kellycat chimed in with...

I'm not sure New Postroom Boy's alice band is a style decision, so much as a last-ditch attempt to keep his afro is check.

Or maybe that's his Smart Office Fro look, as opposed to the Casual Weekend Fro?

09 July, 2006 19:09  
Blogger tom909 chimed in with...

Betty, one of my friends across the valley actually calls girls heifers. He asks me how my heifer is. I really don't like it.

09 July, 2006 23:17  
Blogger First Nations chimed in with...

i was married to one of those. he had been a child model. and how extreme was his daily regime? so sextreme that every day he-and i am not making this up, i am telling the truth- moisturized his pubic hair.

we are divorced.
21 years.

whats an alice band?

10 July, 2006 02:12  
Blogger crisiswhatcrisis chimed in with...

I'm with Tom. None of my farmer mates moisturises.

However, the cow teat liniment rub stuff is great as a super cheap alternative to deep heat for rubbing on your thighs before a rugby game. You can buy it from the agricultural merchant by the bucketload for about thruppence ha'penny.

I wish I was joking about this.

10 July, 2006 09:28  
Blogger Perry Neeham chimed in with...

I'm just grateful to still have hair. I daren't mess about with it in case I ruin what appears to be a sustainable ecosystem.

10 July, 2006 10:52  
Blogger GreatSheElephant chimed in with...

aww, thanks for the memories FN. Sex tortoise used conditioner on his pubes. Ridiculous

10 July, 2006 12:19  
Blogger MJ chimed in with...

A couple of gay friends have visited me recently from out-of-town and I swear they both use more product on their hair and faces than I do. And spend much more time getting ready in the morning.

10 July, 2006 16:01  
Blogger claire chimed in with...

the metrosexual thing has gotten a little out of hand.

I was at a Best Buy last weekend and i noticed that the boy clerks are spending an inordinate amount of time on their hair. Things are getting kind of 'Flock of Seagulls' again... Have very mixed feelings about this.

10 July, 2006 16:17  
Blogger Alessandra chimed in with...

a guy who wears more make-up than me is ALWAYS a bad sign. i love guys who aren't afraid to get down and dirty and still manage to look goregous...like the ones i meet at webdate*dot*com

22 July, 2006 11:13  

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