The world's smallest teenager
So anyway, Small Person and I had the following conversation in the car the other day:
SP (showing me a picture in her book): look, Mummy. This girl wants her parents to be cool. This is how they look now, and this is how she wants them to look.
Me (brightly confident): am I cool, pixie?
SP (after looking at me in a very considering way for about a minute, and in the sort of reassuring tone generally reserved for the elderly and other people's children): well, you probably feel cool, Mummy.
Me (pathetically, blustering): but I am cool! I am! I've got tattoos and I like punk and everything!
Seriously. The girl is six. What does she know?
SP (showing me a picture in her book): look, Mummy. This girl wants her parents to be cool. This is how they look now, and this is how she wants them to look.
Me (brightly confident): am I cool, pixie?
SP (after looking at me in a very considering way for about a minute, and in the sort of reassuring tone generally reserved for the elderly and other people's children): well, you probably feel cool, Mummy.
Me (pathetically, blustering): but I am cool! I am! I've got tattoos and I like punk and everything!
Seriously. The girl is six. What does she know?
posted by surly girl at 8:46 pm
15 Comments:
Everything, clearly.
A wise head ...etc!
Well you did ask her the question, that was asking for trouble!
Yes, but having tattoos and liking punk doesn't cut it in the world of the modern six year old, who is into gang-related crime and grime music. The only way you will get approval is if you is an MC on a pirate radio station, innit?
Betty speaks the truth. Get back to SP when you've wasted a couple of people.
I hope your tattoos are of the current Blue Peter presenters..
being her parent automatically excludes you forever and without exception from coolness. they are mutually exclusive states, you see. so imagine the horror if you REALLY WERE uncool! a cap in the ass would be the only solution, yo.
your mistake was to ask the question. So not cool
My wee daughter was once looking through a fashion magazine and stated that I could not be a model anymore because I was now a mommy.
Apparently giving birth excludes you from a great many things.
Aah but just you wait til little person is old enough to go out drinking with you!! I used to think my parents were so uncool and now they are probably the coolest people I know, the best nights out are when Im with my dad and all his mates!!
Same thing happened to me with Meltdown and Fuelrod. Their attitude changed completely after I started wearing a TV antenea on my head, took to carrying a pusre, and started speaking jibberish in a high-pitched voice.
Cool is a matter of perspective and, of course, air conditioning.
Only other kids Mummies can be cool.
Like, when small boys grow up they discover only other kids Mummies can be Milfs ;-)
give it up SG. You're her Mom. You can't possibly be cool. But I give her full marks for tack and diplomacy. What an angel!
Yeah, moms and dads can't be cool no matter how they try. To thine own self be true and all that. Kingsley Amis called it "sucking up to youth", and one shouldn't do that, not if you want respect, like.
see, even as the question was leaving my mouth i knew i'd fucked up, but i couldn't stop myself - i was just helplessly channeling my mother. a nasty business. that'll teach me.
My daughter gets straight to the poing "Mommy is a loser." You're right... "what does she know?"
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