Today: a summary
- It was really hot before, but now it's gone a bit hazy. This makes me feel slightly better about not being able to take Small Person to the beach as I had planned this afternoon (before she upped the Parental Guilt stakes by breaking her arm and cunningly failing to display any symptoms for two days)
- My neighbours have finally shut up for ten minutes. Presumably all the shrieking, shouting, thumping, having-a-squealy-protracted-water-fight and droning-along-to-folk-songs has rendered them exhausted. I fear only that they are regrouping, and will spend the evening hitting saucepans with spoons until I snap and rampage through their house, hitting them with spoons and shoving saucepans up their inconsiderate arses. Fuckers.
- The Other Half is in Dover for the day, working. I am bored and resentful. Actually, thinking about it, bored and resentful is my default setting so I should amend that to bored, resentful and bitter. There.
- I'm thinking about having another tattoo. Obviously, I'm not getting any more tattoos but the Other Half is booked in for his next one in a couple of weeks and I'm jealous. This concerns me, as maybe my mother was right all along - if everyone else jumped off a cliff maybe I would jump after them.
- Small Person and I are going to tea at the Other Half's parents' house, with the rest of his family. This is the first time he hasn't accompanied us and I have slightly paranoid visions of them all ganging up on me and demanding to know the truth about how we got together.
- I'm hungry.
- My neighbours have resumed shrieking. Fucking, fucking fuckers. I am not to be trusted living among people. My ideal location would be a deserted island somewhere hot, with a handpicked group of people who would be permitted to visit occasionally (as long as they brought beer and peanuts), and who would leave when I got bored of them.
So there it is. Sunday chez Surly. Rock and roll. If your day has been any more exciting than mine then do share - it'll give me something else to feel resentful about.