Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Questions - a diversionary tactic

Why is everything made of white plastic that we put in our dishwasher turning a vile hot-peach colour? Chopping boards, mixing bowls, measuring jugs - even the cutlery-holder-thingy that came with the dishwasher. All of them glowing like radioactive salmon fillets. Why?

Do you spell it "kafuffle" or "kerfuffle"? I would personally err on the side of "kerfuffle", but I wonder if there's a definitive spelling?

Why, in a Picture Shop, where you would expect a certain level of comprehension in such matters, would the word "canvasses" appear on a sign as "canvas's"?

What, in the name of all that is holy, possesses people to cover the entire exterior of their house in flags of St. George? Wouldn't one be enough to show your affiliation with the England team as they head to Japan for the World Ping-Pong Championship Cup (that is what they're doing, isn't it?)? Is it like Christmas lights, where the more you light your house up with cheap plastic tat, the more festive you are deemed to be?

Where can I locate the annoying stage-school "teenager" on the Frosties advert (the one who sings "they're going to taste great" whilst grinning like Abi Titmuss at an audition for a reality TV show entitled "Celebrity Fuck Fest Guaranteed to Further the Career of Sad Over-Inflated No-Talent Witches") in order that I might punch him hard in the face and call him a cunt?

All of these questions need an answer. All of this is designed to take my mind of tomorrow's funeral, so please step up to the comments* and say what's on your mind....

* Is it time for a Kids From Fame revival? Is it? I think so.

16 Comments:

Blogger Kyahgirl chimed in with...

ok my dear, first one is easy. all the white plastic has stabilizer for flexibility and resistance to oxidation and UV degradation. The heat of the dishwasher is pretty hard on the plastic so the additives get washed out and the polymer gets more brittle and more porous and even more attractive all the iron in your water. The colour could be due to degradation or iron build up. Buy a sulphite based iron remover and run it through the dishwasher. If the colour goes then be happy and just clean all your white plastic.

and its kerfuffle.

you're welcome

♥ hope the funeral isn't too hard for you.

06 June, 2006 21:51  
Blogger surly girl chimed in with...

thanks kyah. i am petrified of the funeral xx

06 June, 2006 22:31  
Blogger tom909 chimed in with...

Surly, It's great to have you back. Fucking go for it I say! The funeral might not be so bad, and if it is, well, that's not necessarily so bad is it. You just have to go with what happens when this kind of stuff kicks off.
Take Care.

06 June, 2006 22:55  
Blogger mig bardsley chimed in with...

I think it's kerfuffle too.

I hope the funeral is worthy of the friend. I hope it's not too awful.

07 June, 2006 00:53  
Blogger First Nations chimed in with...

answer to #1: carotene. actually its probably what Kyahgirl said it was, but carotene will do it too. thats the coloring found in tomatoes, carrots-hence the name-and other orangey reddish vegetables. it bonds hard to fats which in turn bond to plastics. you can remove it with oxybleach.
i am sorry about the funeral. you go ahead and feel what you have to about it, and lean on your partner. XO.

07 June, 2006 04:19  
Blogger Donna chimed in with...

I'd have said tomatoes too. And kerfuffle. Hope it goes as well as can be expected xx

07 June, 2006 09:30  
Blogger crisiswhatcrisis chimed in with...

Re canvas's: for the same reason that I saw "the England squad on it's way to Germany" in a national newspaper. Because they're illiterate cunts* who were so busy dicking around at school they forgot to get an education.

I am very late on this, but welcome back. I am v pleased you gave up giving up.

I have a funeral next week. You have my sympathy. I'm really not looking forward to it at all.

*this word cannot be overused in relation to modern society, I think you'll find.

07 June, 2006 10:23  
Blogger frangelita chimed in with...

I would say - cooking acidic things like tomatoes, kerfuffle, ask Pashmina, they think it makes them look hard, ring Frosties and ask, and, for the finale, yes, long past due.

Hope funeral isn't too horrible.

07 June, 2006 14:46  
Blogger Spinsterella chimed in with...

My good wishes also for the funeral, and can I also express my astonishment about how much you people all know about stuff like white plastic going peach.

07 June, 2006 15:41  
Blogger rockmother chimed in with...

Yeah - I would have said tomato based stuff too. It's annoying isn't it - same for whites - they never really stay that white and always end up grey. Why? Actually in my case I know why as I can never be bothered with all that separate wash thing unless I know it's something that will def run - I just shove it all in together. Anyway....

Best of wishes and big hugs for funeral. Don't forget - it's a celebration as well if you can manage it. Razz wouldn't have wanted everyone beating themselves up about it. But you have to feel what you will. Deep breath. Take good care. x

08 June, 2006 11:08  
Blogger Moo chimed in with...

Good luck for the funeral Surly, but I am with you on the frosties advert, that kid needs a kick in the teeth, he is soo annoying that I have to switch channels whenever it comes on!

08 June, 2006 12:09  
Anonymous Anna chimed in with...

After you're done punching the Frosties boy, can you also do averybody who's presented Top of the Pops in the last year? Why are they all 10 year olds now??

08 June, 2006 13:36  
Blogger Pashmina chimed in with...

That Frosties ad has the look of a US-produced, dubbed monstrosity, so you might have to cross the pond to find that appalling child.

Re: kerfuffle, I concur with received opinion above. It's a good word though.

Hope the funeral was bearable...

08 June, 2006 13:59  
Blogger LC chimed in with...

If it's any consolation, annoying stage-school Frosties twat-boy almost certainly recieves regular, vicious beatings from his peers and will grow up to be horribly, horribly scarred, mentally and phyiscally.

08 June, 2006 14:18  
Blogger DavetheF chimed in with...

They annoy you on purpose. Irritation factor is used to increase brand recognition. Let's face it, Frosties got your attention.

11 June, 2006 18:24  
Anonymous Joe chimed in with...

http://www.myspace.com/frostiestwat

HERE HE IS!

25 June, 2006 17:07  

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