Thursday, June 01, 2006

From the mouths of babes

What is it with children and their stupid moral code?

For Donna and Andy’s combined-fortieth-birthday-fancy-dress-pub-crawl (note to self: must dress as a pirate again, soon) last year, Andy got busy with his badge making machine. As a result, all participants sported a Blue Peter badge for the duration of the day’s festivities (along with glazed eyes, tangly feet and their mouths turned up to eleven, for the most part). Afterwards, I put mine on the pocket-flap-thingy of my denim jacket. People in their thirties occasionally ask whether it’s real, and what I did to get it. I always tell the truth, and that’s fine. There’s no harm done. I’m not trying to get into open days at windmills or transport museums for free, or anything.

So yesterday, I picked Small Person up early from Holiday Club. When I arrived, they were having their tea. As I was waiting for Small Person’s lemon curd sammich to be put in a bag so that she could eat it in the car*, a small girl gasped with awe, pointed at my pocket and breathed “you’ve got a Blue Peter badge…..”

Fifteen pairs of eyes swivelled silently in my direction. The questions began, and I was helpless. Where did you get it? Is it yours? Can I get one? What did you have to do to get it? Finally, a voice cut through the excited chatter, and asked the fateful question….is it real?

Um….well……prevaricating wildly, I pretended to look for Small Person's glasses so we could be off. In the end, I owned up. No, it wasn't a real one. My friend made it as a joke. One particular eight-year-old boy was Not Impressed. In a voice heavy with scorn, (and a thinly-veiled threat to grass me up to Biddy Baxter), he informed me that "you're supposed to do something good and go to the studio to collect a badge, not just make one".

That told me. I'm expecting a stern letter from Valerie Singleton any day now. Bloody kids.

* Wednesday is a tight schedule day in our house. She should think herself lucky she didn't have to eat it in the bath.


Blogger Spinsterella chimed in with...

Holiday Club?

Is it the holidays?

Why has nobody told me?

Anyhow, you're too honest. You should make up a story about your badge.

You could tell people that Peter Duncan gave it to you in return for...well it's your story...

01 June, 2006 20:17  
Anonymous Whinger chimed in with...

Back in my teenaged days of babysitting, I used to try to get the kids to lie about how much tv I let them watch and how I did not observe bed times.

They always told, the little shits.

01 June, 2006 20:42  
Blogger garfer chimed in with...

I have a real Blue Peter badge.

People like you are vile imposters who deserve to be toasted over hot coals.

I don't know how you can live with yourself.

01 June, 2006 22:47  
Blogger No one Really chimed in with...

Never let the truth get in the way of a good story.

02 June, 2006 09:46  
Blogger The Boy chimed in with...

How does one earn a blue peter badge anyway? Sorry, nonEnglish childhood showing through the cracks here.

02 June, 2006 09:47  
Anonymous Other Half chimed in with...

I got a genuine Blue Peter badge for coming second in their annual crossword competition back in 1977. Sadly I can't find it now but feel justified in wearing my new 'fake' one secure in the knowledge that I have earned the right !!!!

02 June, 2006 10:35  
Blogger Donna chimed in with...

Oops ... Get him back Surly. Pinch him when none of the grown-ups are looking.

02 June, 2006 13:02  
Blogger funny thing chimed in with...

Blue Peter was British, not English. England = 1/4 of the countries in Britain.

...aaaaaaaand breathe...

Blue Peter was and is rubbish. Forge away, girly.

02 June, 2006 15:07  
Blogger Betty chimed in with...

I think Madonna was given an honorary Blue Peter badge, which has forever devalued it in my eyes.

Is Biddy Baxter still alive? She must be about 190. A ferocious woman, apparently

02 June, 2006 16:58  
Blogger First Nations chimed in with...

a guy I once dated gave me a 'Howdy Doody'(kids show in the U.S.) badge...better that than the clap, I suppose. The thing was the size of a salad plate, bright yellow with huge red lettering, and had a picture of a endocrine-deficient freckled puppet on it.
Needless to say, that one never saw the color of my drawers.

02 June, 2006 23:42  
Blogger funny thing chimed in with...

Thinking about it, can you forge one for me?
I've never visited a transport museum.

03 June, 2006 09:42  
Blogger Urban Chick chimed in with...

i've been on blue peter some time in the last, um, eight years* but disappointed my mother horribly by NOT asking for a badge

* but nope, i'm not that young

p.s. i demand to know the URL of your secret other blog btw

04 June, 2006 21:52  
Anonymous Anonymous chimed in with...

hmmm, my BP badge was obtained from the BP studios... however it was stolen. Does that count?

05 June, 2006 13:01  

Post a Comment

<< Home

Free Web Site Counter
Counters Who Links Here