Thursday, June 01, 2006

From the mouths of babes

What is it with children and their stupid moral code?

For Donna and Andy’s combined-fortieth-birthday-fancy-dress-pub-crawl (note to self: must dress as a pirate again, soon) last year, Andy got busy with his badge making machine. As a result, all participants sported a Blue Peter badge for the duration of the day’s festivities (along with glazed eyes, tangly feet and their mouths turned up to eleven, for the most part). Afterwards, I put mine on the pocket-flap-thingy of my denim jacket. People in their thirties occasionally ask whether it’s real, and what I did to get it. I always tell the truth, and that’s fine. There’s no harm done. I’m not trying to get into open days at windmills or transport museums for free, or anything.

So yesterday, I picked Small Person up early from Holiday Club. When I arrived, they were having their tea. As I was waiting for Small Person’s lemon curd sammich to be put in a bag so that she could eat it in the car*, a small girl gasped with awe, pointed at my pocket and breathed “you’ve got a Blue Peter badge…..”

Fifteen pairs of eyes swivelled silently in my direction. The questions began, and I was helpless. Where did you get it? Is it yours? Can I get one? What did you have to do to get it? Finally, a voice cut through the excited chatter, and asked the fateful question….is it real?

Um….well……prevaricating wildly, I pretended to look for Small Person's glasses so we could be off. In the end, I owned up. No, it wasn't a real one. My friend made it as a joke. One particular eight-year-old boy was Not Impressed. In a voice heavy with scorn, (and a thinly-veiled threat to grass me up to Biddy Baxter), he informed me that "you're supposed to do something good and go to the studio to collect a badge, not just make one".

That told me. I'm expecting a stern letter from Valerie Singleton any day now. Bloody kids.

* Wednesday is a tight schedule day in our house. She should think herself lucky she didn't have to eat it in the bath.

13 Comments:

Blogger Spinsterella chimed in with...

Holiday Club?

Is it the holidays?

Why has nobody told me?

Anyhow, you're too honest. You should make up a story about your badge.

You could tell people that Peter Duncan gave it to you in return for...well it's your story...

01 June, 2006 20:17  
Anonymous Whinger chimed in with...

Back in my teenaged days of babysitting, I used to try to get the kids to lie about how much tv I let them watch and how I did not observe bed times.

They always told, the little shits.

01 June, 2006 20:42  
Blogger garfer chimed in with...

I have a real Blue Peter badge.

People like you are vile imposters who deserve to be toasted over hot coals.

I don't know how you can live with yourself.

01 June, 2006 22:47  
Blogger No one Really chimed in with...

Never let the truth get in the way of a good story.

02 June, 2006 09:46  
Blogger The Boy chimed in with...

How does one earn a blue peter badge anyway? Sorry, nonEnglish childhood showing through the cracks here.

02 June, 2006 09:47  
Anonymous Other Half chimed in with...

I got a genuine Blue Peter badge for coming second in their annual crossword competition back in 1977. Sadly I can't find it now but feel justified in wearing my new 'fake' one secure in the knowledge that I have earned the right !!!!

02 June, 2006 10:35  
Blogger Donna chimed in with...

Oops ... Get him back Surly. Pinch him when none of the grown-ups are looking.

02 June, 2006 13:02  
Blogger funny thing chimed in with...

Blue Peter was British, not English. England = 1/4 of the countries in Britain.

...aaaaaaaand breathe...

Anyway.
Blue Peter was and is rubbish. Forge away, girly.

02 June, 2006 15:07  
Blogger Betty chimed in with...

I think Madonna was given an honorary Blue Peter badge, which has forever devalued it in my eyes.

Is Biddy Baxter still alive? She must be about 190. A ferocious woman, apparently

02 June, 2006 16:58  
Blogger First Nations chimed in with...

a guy I once dated gave me a 'Howdy Doody'(kids show in the U.S.) badge...better that than the clap, I suppose. The thing was the size of a salad plate, bright yellow with huge red lettering, and had a picture of a endocrine-deficient freckled puppet on it.
Needless to say, that one never saw the color of my drawers.

02 June, 2006 23:42  
Blogger funny thing chimed in with...

Thinking about it, can you forge one for me?
I've never visited a transport museum.

03 June, 2006 09:42  
Blogger Urban Chick chimed in with...

i've been on blue peter some time in the last, um, eight years* but disappointed my mother horribly by NOT asking for a badge

* but nope, i'm not that young

p.s. i demand to know the URL of your secret other blog btw

04 June, 2006 21:52  
Anonymous Anonymous chimed in with...

hmmm, my BP badge was obtained from the BP studios... however it was stolen. Does that count?

05 June, 2006 13:01  

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