Thursday, March 16, 2006

Surly Girl: Now in her 34th* Award-Winning** Year

Happy birthday to me,
Happy birthday to me,
Now I am thirty thre-ee, (you have to stress the “am” otherwise it won’t scan)
Happy birthday to me.

Gifts and compliments (particularly those relating to how I don’t look a day over twenty five) in the comments box, if you don’t mind.

*awaits barrage of insults*

* Before you start, this does make me thirty three, not thirty four. Honest.

** Yes, award-winning:

  • Spacehopper Race (2nd, 1978)
  • Country Dancing Badge (Brownies, 1981)
  • Bronze Lifesaver Award (1982)
  • Featured on page eight of the Maldon and Burnham Standard for breathtaking performance in lead role of “Runaways”, (ill-advised school play written and scored by fourth year music teacher ) “….Surly effortlessly captured the ennui and frustration felt by every member of the audience as this stilted embarrassment lurched helplessly towards its disappointing conclusion” (1988)
  • F grade German GCSE (1989)
  • Lowest Score Ever Recorded (3%) on an AAT Exam Paper (1990)
  • Best Heckling at an Amateur Performance of the Rocky Horror Show (Civic Theatre, 1993 - “…fuck you!!” to the Narrator on being told to sit down and shut up owing to being drunk and irritating)
  • Forklift Licence (Reach Truck, 1998)
  • Largest Ever Library Fine that Doesn’t Result in an Amnesty from the Library and an Amusing Story on Page Nine of the Daily Express (£32.60, 2005 – present)
  • So shut up.


Blogger Universal Soldier chimed in with...

Congratulations - that's quite some CV by anyones standards.

16 March, 2006 09:34  
Blogger Urban Chick chimed in with...

happy birthday!

(wot you didn't get the housekeeping badge at brownies?)

16 March, 2006 09:40  
Blogger Spinsterella chimed in with...

Happy Birthday!

(I don't know what an AAT exam is. But I am dead impressed that you can drive a forklift)

16 March, 2006 09:56  
Blogger the Beep chimed in with...

Happy birthday. In india they would saying your are 34 running. So be grateful.
I love driving a forklift. A good present for me would be a day working on one (July if you're wondering).
Anyway, have a great day, and I hope OH is spoiling you tonight...

16 March, 2006 10:20  
Blogger Fifi chimed in with...

Have a fantabulous day.

And I thought 'Runaways' was a classic of the genre.

16 March, 2006 10:54  
Blogger Sherbert chimed in with...

You have a forklift licence? I'm really envious Surly. Happy birthday!

16 March, 2006 10:56  
Blogger Fifi chimed in with...

I get the feeling this could be your best birthday yet.

You deserve it kiddo! Go cat go! Book 'em Danno! etc.

16 March, 2006 11:33  
Blogger JonnyB chimed in with...

Welcome to your mid-thirties.

Having spent my entire twenties worrying about being thirty, I've found my thirties to be a relaxing time.

Plus it was my dad's birthday yesterday. That's today, not yesterday, and he's 74, not 33, so there isn't a hell of a connection, but I thought you might be interested.

I gave him a couple of books from Amazon. He was really pleased.

16 March, 2006 11:40  
Blogger MinCat chimed in with...

happy berfday!!!! hope its fabululous. not just plain and boring fabulous.
and if i might presume, *hugs*

16 March, 2006 11:42  
Blogger GreatSheElephant chimed in with...

happy geburtstag

sickeningly envious about the forklift truck licence

16 March, 2006 11:46  
Anonymous Other Half chimed in with...

You never told me about your secret 'Am-Dram' past...oh dear !!!

Happy birthday SG, I'm disappointed I missed out on all those prior to your 32nd so I intend to make up for it with every subsequent year we are together...and I plan for there to be loads and loads and loads of them xxxxxxxxxx

16 March, 2006 12:02  
Blogger Betty chimed in with...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

16 March, 2006 12:58  
Blogger Betty chimed in with...

(Sorry re. above. Misspelling.)

Happy birthday, as they say around these parts.

(U grade German O-level, 1979).

16 March, 2006 13:01  
Blogger patroclus chimed in with...

Happy birthday, SG! Take it from me, 33 is a brilliant age.

I too am most envious of the fork-lift licence. Oh, the havoc I could wreak on the genteel streets of West London with a fork-lift. Sigh.

16 March, 2006 13:21  
Blogger Geoff chimed in with...

Happy Birthday from me, too.

I was encouraged to study for AAT once. Gave up after 1 day of extreme boredom.

16 March, 2006 13:52  
Blogger treespotter chimed in with...

Happy Glorious B'day!
what's the book?

16 March, 2006 13:57  
Blogger garfer chimed in with...

Oh, can I have a ride on your forklift!

Happy birthday and that.

16 March, 2006 13:57  
Blogger LC chimed in with...

Happy birthday SG. I said HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR. Hope they don't make you wait too long for your new hip.

16 March, 2006 14:24  
Blogger First Nations chimed in with...

happity hippity to you! here is your
*virtual birthday present*
alex, its a starboard-mount bavarian cream dispenser! (3 settings, variable prop speed, gps and fishfinder included)heiroglypic cranberry pitter attachment, parachute and illustrated instructional video included with every order. do not use near open flame.

16 March, 2006 14:47  
Blogger Smat chimed in with...

Happy Birthday Surly - most impressed with the AAT result btw - if you're going to fail, at least do it with style, that's my motto.

16 March, 2006 14:56  
Blogger funny thing chimed in with...

Hey, I've got a forklift licence too! Reach and Counterbalance.

*we both nod wisely*

And I'm 33 too! Spooky-weird-creepy-amazing....

'Ave a good 'un (as they say in... erm... wherever it is they say " 'ave a good 'un".

16 March, 2006 15:06  
Blogger Moo chimed in with...

Happy birthday!!

16 March, 2006 15:20  
Anonymous kyahgirl chimed in with...

I'm ringing up your Library right now to see if they'll give you Amnesty as a birthday gift.

Happy Birthday to the rockinest forklift driver I've ever met (er, in cyber terms).

You don't look more than 24 in your picture that you sent to me. Lovely.

er, was that mold growing on your teeth or just a trick of the light?


16 March, 2006 15:22  
Blogger FUNKYBROWNCHICK chimed in with...


I'd say it in German, but I don't know how and you wouldn't understand it anyway. ;)


16 March, 2006 15:50  
Anonymous Whinger chimed in with...

Oh hurrah and happy birthday!

I do hope there is a fabulous dinner planned as EVERYONE deserves fabulous dinner on his/her birthday.

16 March, 2006 17:17  
Blogger Wyndham chimed in with...

My dad was a fork-lift truck driver.

You're not my dad, are you?

16 March, 2006 17:47  
Blogger Jemima chimed in with...

Drunk and irritating, nearly choked on me popcorn at that. Rejoice, rejoice and woo hoo hoo.

16 March, 2006 18:09  
Blogger mig bardsley chimed in with...

Have a great birthday, (what's left of it).
Fork lift truck driver, Wow!

16 March, 2006 19:36  
Anonymous The Girl behind the partition chimed in with...

Happy Birthday to you Surly Girl and long may you reign supreme!

16 March, 2006 20:03  
Blogger Inexplicable DeVice chimed in with...

Happy birthday to you!

I did get you a present but First Nations got the same thing and got here before me.


I've sent it back now so you'll just have to have my best wishes.

16 March, 2006 20:47  
Blogger taigathefox chimed in with...

Just came to hand this fabulous Andy Taylor- birthday card to you.

16 March, 2006 21:38  
Blogger Huw chimed in with...

I once had a library fine for £316. I made myself cry and got it reduced to £25. I lost my dignity, but saved myself the best part of 300 quid. Bargin.

All the best etc.

16 March, 2006 21:46  
Blogger Huw chimed in with...

Damn. Must stop thinking about 'gin' so much.

16 March, 2006 21:47  
Anonymous caroline chimed in with...

Happy Birthday from me too, and I hope you have a hangover which means you had a jolly time last night.

Disqualified in RE o level. Was high on antihistamines and thought it was a brilliant plan to draw entire paper in cartoons. Jesus shouting BOO from behind the stone etc.

16 March, 2006 23:12  
Anonymous Stu Savory chimed in with...

Just to let you get your F working . . .

Ein weiters Sprichwort für dich mit dreiunddreizig : Oma meinte stets, daß das Gewicht daß du mit dreiunddreizig hast der Mindestgewicht für den rest deines Lebens sei :-(

17 March, 2006 05:51  
Anonymous Anonymous chimed in with...

33? Only? And there's something so wrong with your fork that it needed lifting?

17 March, 2006 05:54  
Blogger crisiswhatcrisis chimed in with...

Can't believe I missed your birthday yesterday. How's it feel to be 33.0027 today? Hope OH did you proud anyway.

I used to have a forklift licence as well. It was ace. It had side-shift and everything. Did you end up beeping the horn with your forearm while you were steering one-handed, or was that just me?

17 March, 2006 10:00  
Anonymous Anonymous chimed in with...

I could have sworn I said happy birthday yesterday, sworn it. I do apologise.

Happy birthday, Surly!

Sorry it's a bit late.

17 March, 2006 18:55  
Blogger james henry chimed in with...

Also late, happy birthday.

18 March, 2006 19:17  

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