Monday, March 06, 2006


It's my birthday next week. I won't be having a party.

I only ever had one birthday party as a child (I know, the violins....). It was my sixth birthday and I invited everyone in my class. I remember sitting in the armchair at the end of the living room as my classmates piled presents onto my lap, thinking what a great deal this was and how I'd make sure I had a party every year. Our living room had a through route via doors at either end, and we all had a fabulous time doing high-speed circuits in pursuit of my brother even as my mother winced and had visions of eyes being gouged out on the corner of the dining room table. The afternoon culminated in my brother leaping over the upstairs banister with seventeen hyperactive six year olds in hot pursuit and I never had another birthday party. Ever.

I'm too old for parties these days. I'm too old for everything, pretty much. Turning thirty-three sucks. Totally sucks.

I am not coping well with the whole getting-old thing. Can you tell?


Anonymous Whinger chimed in with...

Tsk, tsk on not being allowed to have birthday parties.

I was only allowed one every other year and felt completely deprived.

06 March, 2006 19:51  
Anonymous kyahgirl chimed in with...

*hands surly the bottle of gin*

Let's have a cyber party next week then. We'll start now.

06 March, 2006 19:53  
Blogger Cheezy chimed in with...

Thirty three's young. Thirty four? Now that's old. Real old.

06 March, 2006 19:55  
Anonymous Piggy and Tazzy chimed in with...

Yes, we can tell.

Oh it'd have been sooooooo much funnier if your birthday coincided with your pmt.

For us, anyway.

06 March, 2006 20:32  
Blogger bedshaped chimed in with...

You may not be having a party, but can I have some cake if there's any going?

06 March, 2006 20:33  
Blogger Inexplicable DeVice chimed in with...

You should gatecrash some little kids party, run around like a special, throw jelly & ice-cream at the parents and open all the presents, making the kid cry.
You would've caught up with all those missed birthday parties then.

Happy birthday for next week. I'm only a couple of years behind you...

06 March, 2006 20:37  
Anonymous Piggy and Tazzy chimed in with...

I just noticed your query on the Leather Goddesses of Phobos game on the post below this one.

You can see info on it here (and even download it)

AND (get this one!) you can PLAY it online here!

Gosh, I feel so kind and helpful today! Think of it as an early birthday prezzie.

06 March, 2006 20:42  
Blogger frangelita chimed in with...

Parties seem to go much better when you get alcohol involved. I like the crashing of a kids party idea too, do that. I had a joint birthday party with my brother at an ice rink one year (our birthdays are two days apart). It ended quite abruptly when one of his friends kicked one of my friends with his ice skate.

06 March, 2006 22:08  
Blogger treespotter chimed in with...

date a younger guy and make him throw a party... well, it's a bit late, may be for next year?

actually, the word verification thing is also a bit tough here...

07 March, 2006 00:28  
Blogger funny thing chimed in with...

I'm 33 1/2. It's fine, believe me.
Everyone still thinks I'm about 25. Just make your hair spiky, that's what I do. Has everyone fooled.

I'll let you know how 34 is when I get there.

07 March, 2006 00:34  
Anonymous Piggy and Tazzy chimed in with...

I dont know what the problem is, SG.

I'd be less worried about my age and more worried about the size of my arse, if I were you.

07 March, 2006 09:02  
Blogger patroclus chimed in with...

Have no fear - 33, 34 and 35 are all great. I can't tell you yet about 36. That one sounds a bit scary to me - nearer 40 to 30, and all that.

07 March, 2006 09:09  
Blogger patroclus chimed in with...

*than* 30.

07 March, 2006 09:10  
Blogger crisiswhatcrisis chimed in with...

Aaaaaargh. You can all fuck off.

Moaning about being in you mid thirties. Shut up. Stop reminding me.

I am, count them, forty years old, entering my fifth decade, half way to eighty, in 56 days.

I win. But for once, I don't want to.

07 March, 2006 09:21  
Blogger crisiswhatcrisis chimed in with...

That'd be 'your' mid thirties. Dammit. I'm so cross I can't type. Arse.

07 March, 2006 09:22  
Blogger Donna chimed in with...

I'm forty and fat. Trust me - it's fine. The older you get, the less you care.

07 March, 2006 09:51  
Blogger Betty chimed in with...

The further down the comments, the older the commenters get. Any advance on 42? Look, at 33 you haven't even been issued with your bingo wings yet so make the most of it. Apart from the back ache and having to cover up the grey hair, I'm not that bothered. Provided you remember to tweeze out the chin whiskers and wear an underwired bra you cope just fine.

07 March, 2006 11:56  
Blogger Urban Chick chimed in with...

33 is a me (besides, you can still say you're in your early 30s)

07 March, 2006 12:29  
Blogger the Beep chimed in with...

Yes, 33 is a total breeze. I am not entirely convinced that anyone of 33 is old enough yet to vote, have sex and stuff.

I'll put you on the naughty step if you moan about being only 33 anymore. You're tired and you're showing off. Just stop it.

You, you, you ... CHILD.

(And yes, Betty, I have advanced on 42. Senility beckons)

07 March, 2006 13:11  
Blogger GreatSheElephant chimed in with...

I only had 2 birthday parties as a child - didn't get invited to many as a result. Undoubtedly my worst though was my 16th to which no-one turned up because it was the last day of O'levels and they were all out drinking.

I highly recommend having a birthday party as an adult. Makes me feel a lot better about missing out as a child.

07 March, 2006 14:25  
Anonymous kyahgirl chimed in with...

you tell her beep! :-)

07 March, 2006 15:07  
Blogger Wyndham chimed in with...

33, for fuck's sake.

*wyndham slaps his forehead and guns his motorised wheelchair into fifth*

07 March, 2006 15:57  
Blogger Dita chimed in with...

I got a few years up on ya' honey. The thirties are fantastic years. Enjoy them...

07 March, 2006 16:43  
Blogger First Nations chimed in with...

ya pup, ya.
5-5-60, honey.
go ahead and feel like crap if you need to, but have a party for yourself or something when you're done!
here's a gift:

07 March, 2006 17:24  
Blogger patroclus chimed in with...

Wahey! This thread has cheered me up no end. So every age is great? Brilliant!

I have to say I'm enjoying myself more and more as I get older, and without the aid of drink and drugs*, too. If I'd told my 22 year-old self that, 22 year-old me would have thought I was lying through my teeth. But I'm not.

* Apart from nicotine. And caffeine. Obviously.

07 March, 2006 18:00  
Blogger DavetheF chimed in with...

You are all foetuses. Whingeing embryos! I'm not even going to tell you how old I am because it is utterly. Bloody. Irrelevant. Be yourself, not your age. And go against your instincts and have an absolute blowout killer party. There are no parties in the grave, you know. Go on!

07 March, 2006 18:02  
Blogger Fifi chimed in with...

'No parties in the grave'.

Hmmm. That's certainly made me feel so much better about how old I am.

That's older than Surly and older than Katherine Sodding Zeta Jones.

07 March, 2006 18:16  
Blogger surly girl chimed in with...

yeah, but she's welsh, and she has to do michael douglas, so we're not that badly off.

07 March, 2006 19:36  
Blogger belladona chimed in with...

I was 31 yesterday and am still not totally convinced. It does seem to be true that as you get older you get happier - maybe it's because I'm brave enough to tell people where to get off now and just do what I want. Also I got a remote-controlled dalek which would have been too expensive and silly a present when I was 10 so yay for being grown-up enough for that sort of nonsense.
P.S - I never had a birthday party at all. So there. Do I get a medal (and WHEN will Green Wing arrive)?

07 March, 2006 19:49  
Blogger surly girl chimed in with...

bella - happy birthday for yesterday!

as for GW - apparently it's nearly ready. yeah right. like my house. fucking builders.

07 March, 2006 20:00  
Blogger mig bardsley chimed in with...

I just came doddering in to see what all the fuss was about.
It's OK surly, you don't have to cope with the getting old thing for a few years yet.
I advise against having the missed parties of your youth though, the food's disgusting, your best friends all want to play with your worst enemies all of a sudden and when it all ends in tears, it's you who gets the blame.
Have a grown up blast instead!

07 March, 2006 23:39  
Anonymous Other Half chimed in with...

Betty...I've tried teasing out the grey whiskers but am left with a bald chin. Also, my underwired bra just isn't comfortable (I've yet to lose my excess Christmas weight you know !!!).

As for the ageing process I have no fears at all. It never bothered me before and although I turn 40 this year my life is filled with optimism and happiness at the thought of having all those years ahead of me with Surly fucking great is that !

08 March, 2006 08:35  
Blogger rockmother chimed in with...

Bloody hell - 33! You are so lucky! I turned 40 on 24th Jan and I can tell you that was quite a shock. I wasn't going to do anything and at the last minute decided to go for it and have a party. It was great. I think I am going to revert to 38 for the next few years though - or as long as I conceivably get away with it without people thinking I am Joan Rivers lookie-likie!

11 March, 2006 08:59  

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