Monday, January 09, 2006


Friday's visit to the Ex was, as I suspected, a dramatic re-enactment of How Poor I Am, complete with the heating switched off and threatening letters from the bank, etc. No mention of stopping maintenance payments though - it was more a complicated preamble to a monologue* on the subject of Why I Must Transport A Small Skinny Six Year Old On The Back Of A Large Dangerous Motorcycle. I held firm though, and as a result we are absolutely no further forward, and I now have even more guilt regarding my new-found knowledge that Small Person spends her time at her Dad's in freezing misery. Sweet.

In other news, can we all please join hands and make a fervent wish to our personal gods to ensure that New Boss fails his driving test this afternoon? Lovely Assistant and I are hoping that if he fails again he'll get fed up with the train-and-two-buses journey to work every day and leave us alone.

Carry on.

* They are all monologues. Living with the Ex was like being at a seven year long Alan Bennett play. Only really, really dull. Imagine listening to John Major talking about agricultural policy for seven years and you're not even nearly close to how dull it was. Really.


Blogger the Beep chimed in with...

Here's strength to your arm as far as SP and the bike. Stick to your guns. The alternative is too unbearable.

My OH has a similar torment with her three: their dad is a waster (albeit a rich one) and deserts them until two or three in the morning, feeds them from macdonalds and makes them miserable, dirty and tired. She hates it, they hate it. But that, as I keep reminding her, is not her, it is him. It's a tough balance - seeing feckless useless bullying dad, or have no contact with him. On balance I think she has to go with keeping the contact and them seeing the reality.The discomfort is only for a relatively short period. The alternative of nil contact or, worse, irregular contact (which I had as a SP) is, I think in the end, more damaging. And SP will make her own mind up in the not too distant future.

I wish it could be easier for you.

09 January, 2006 11:13  
Blogger mig bardsley chimed in with...

Oh SG, that's miserable for you and SP.
I think Bleep's right though. It's often quite bewildering how much children care about and need their separated parents. Especially when you know what absolute shits they are.
I hope you can solve the motor bike problem though, that's too frightening.

Best wishes for worst luck to New Boss :)

09 January, 2006 11:51  
Blogger Spinsterella chimed in with...

Single Mum in my office has twin boys. Just in case there was any doubt that he's the Biggest Wanker in the World, her ex bought only one of them a Christmas present.

09 January, 2006 11:56  
Blogger surly girl chimed in with...

blimey, that makes the ex look like a prince among men. which he isn't, clearly. unless to qualify to be a prince you need to stop washing and live in squalor, in which case he's all set.

09 January, 2006 14:16  
Blogger zanna chimed in with...

on the subject of monolouges he was the king. As for SP and travel arrangements, why can't he just get the bus? The guy spinsterella is talking about really takes the prize tho, I fucking hate (most) men!

09 January, 2006 14:38  
Blogger Sherbert chimed in with...

I agree with all - contact should be continued as, in time, all SP's will realise how bad their estranged parent is - believe me, I know. Spinsterella's story is truly shocking - that's just the pits of the pittest pit. BTW, I currently live with a man who has the dullest of the dull, dull voices - long, droning monologues of explanations, his view clearly being why use 5 words when you can use 63.

09 January, 2006 15:27  
Blogger surly girl chimed in with...

are you living with my ex-husband? does he patiently and slooooowly explain something that you hadn't even asked about, then explain it again immediately afterwards only with the words in a slightly different order?

oh dear.

09 January, 2006 15:40  
Blogger Kyahgirl chimed in with...

You're a good mum sg, and wise. SP will figure things out. Children have an amazing capacity for love and she will manage to love her dad, despite the filth and squalor, love your OH, love you, and in the process, make everyone's lives a bit brighter.

I hear your stories, and one like spinsterella's, and am grateful, again, that I didn't have any children with my first husband. And then I'm grateful again, that my dear husband today, is the warmest, most steady, sensible father two kids could ever want. (except for the shouting, they probably could do without that-in case you think I'm painting him as too perfect!)

09 January, 2006 16:04  
Blogger funny thing chimed in with...

Bloody blimey bollox. It sounds like everyone either has the same ex, or they all learn how to be useless wanker tosspot fuckwit bastards at the same place.

Imp's ex thinks that the food groups consist of McDonalds, Pizza Hut and Burger king. Bedtime for both kids (including the 9 year old) is when he's finished socialising, which could be the small hours of the morning, weekday or not.

To make it worse, one of the kids isn't even his but we have to give her to him because he went to court over it... and as he had legal aid he could afford to go on and on until we lost.


That's one good reason for sticking to women, I tell you.

09 January, 2006 16:04  
Blogger CyberPete chimed in with...

But if he does pass, maybe he'll bring cake..

09 January, 2006 17:38  
Blogger surly girl chimed in with...

but cake is no good because of stupid detox. i would happily forgo a cake if it meant he would never whine at me in his stupid nasal voice again.

09 January, 2006 18:10  
Anonymous Anonymous chimed in with...

Whine, whinge, complain, repeat.

Just listen to the lot of you!

Get a life (and a motorcycle).

09 January, 2006 18:39  
Blogger Whinger chimed in with...

Do you find yourself repeating over and over in your head..."Must be civil for SP...wouldn't have SP if not for him...must be civil..."?

Why is the high road so steep and difficult?

09 January, 2006 19:12  
Blogger Juggling Mother chimed in with...

Can small person sit astride the bike comfortably, with feet on foot rests (both sides) with a properly fitted helmet? If any of the answers are no, it's illegal to carry her as a pillion passenger (source: Hansard)

Does boss moan about the travelling? If not he'll probably just keep doing it ad infinitum, while boring you stupid with "commuter" stories:-(

09 January, 2006 19:13  
Blogger surly girl chimed in with...

hey, anonymous, welcome to my blog. that's right - mine. where i can say, ooh, whatever i want.

and ifyou don't like it, well, you know what to do....

09 January, 2006 19:13  
Blogger Inexplicable DeVice chimed in with...

Bugger! If only I'd read this while at "work". I would've done my best to curse the boss's driving test but now it's too late. Hope he failed - I guess you'll find out tomorrow, in boring detail.

09 January, 2006 19:48  
Blogger frangelita chimed in with...

Send SP off with lots of extra warm clothes;-) and tell ex he is most definitely not allowed to take SP on bike cos this is a world of public transport (sort of)

09 January, 2006 21:01  
Blogger Lippy chimed in with...

Women are surely the most optimistic creatures on the planet. By the millions, we hook up with seemingly decent, lovable men, only to watch them quickly devolve before our very eyes into irredeemably puerile idiots. Perhaps they're the ones who need to "get a life"...

Maybe your boss will fail his test and suddenly discover the joys of telecommuting. Hey - it could happen.

10 January, 2006 00:35  
Blogger Mdx chimed in with...

Sorry about the ex. I'm not sure immature behavior is strictly limited to males (that's my stand for men, so I'm outta here before I get kicked in the nuts).

10 January, 2006 23:19  

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