So, with all this in mind, I think it's time to shut up shop for Christmas. I demand that everyone has a fabulous time; that those of you who drink do it to excess, and that those of you who don't eat twelve extra sausage rolls instead. I want to you to eat too much, drink too much, play stupid party games and bicker incessantly with your close family. Let's have Scrabble, and too many Quality Street, and tears before bedtime brought on by too much cherry brandy and a slightly crap present from your significant other. In short, have a fucking marvellous one and I'll catch up with you on January 3rd*.
* Probably. If I can be arsed**. You might wish I hadn't bothered - January is the Month of Staying In and Detoxing. Stop yawning at the back.
** Oh, come on. Who am I kidding? I'm too needy to even stay away that long.