Monday, December 12, 2005

My link is brilliant

Anyone who has the misfortune to know me in real life, and a few of my blogging chums besides will be fully aware of my utter contempt and loathing for James Blunt* and his fey, shitty sixth-form poetry, set lovingly to whatever preset on his Casio keyboard is this week's favourite. I simply cannot fathom why squillions of adoring fucktards fans buy his records by the bucketload. Or at least I couldn't, until I happened upon this. Please go and have a look (and a listen - needs sound) - it's absolute bloodyfucking genius. And you get to throw tomatoes and everything.

Carry on.

* My List of Loathing also includes, but is not limited to: Katie Melua, Jamie Cullum, Michael Buble, Daniel Powter and his Scary Hat of Doom, Jack "Sorry, I Nodded Off For a Minute There" Johnson, anything the Ex has in his CD collection, Katie Melua and The Corrs. This doesn't mean I will mock you for liking them, it just means that I would personally prefer to disembowel myself with a rusty rake than listen to them.

37 Comments:

Blogger the Beep chimed in with...

absolute bloody genius! Quite brilliant.

12 December, 2005 17:29  
Anonymous Piggy and Tazzy chimed in with...

Yes, very good. Eclectech is one of my fave b3ta.com contributors.

I too am puzzled by the adoration some of this shite receives.

12 December, 2005 17:55  
Blogger funny thing chimed in with...

Have you noticed how every time James Blunt is introduced on both TV and radio, they mention the fact that he was in the army?

Is that supposed to make him interesting?

By that reasoning, Prince Edward must be an E-dropping, head-banging, coke-snorting, hilarious anecdote-telling er.. party stander-inner.

12 December, 2005 18:30  
Anonymous Ant chimed in with...

You're quite right of course, he's a total... well, it rhymes with Blunt anyway—let's leave it at that for now. Am unsure how much to swear around here, and still sober. In fact they all are. Anyone got a gun?

(Also, yay for eclectech... the talented blunts.)

12 December, 2005 18:56  
Blogger surly girl chimed in with...

feel free to point out that blunt happily rhymes with cunt.

i think the army thing is an effort to butch up the sappy halfwit. hopeless case, anyone?

12 December, 2005 19:14  
Blogger Whinger chimed in with...

I do not know this James Blunt person, but now I hate him by proxy.

12 December, 2005 19:19  
Blogger Spinsterella chimed in with...

Fucktards is absolutely fucking right.

Totally agree with your list of loathing. Apart from Michael Buble, but only cos I've never heard of him. Sounds like a cunt though...

12 December, 2005 19:20  
Blogger garfer chimed in with...

While in his posh cavalry regiment, Blunt was apparently kmown as 'cunty' Blunty due to his success as a ladykiller. Apparently he shagged half of Knightsbridge.

Magnolia shite dinner party dross that tossers like Blunt produce drives me to despair.

12 December, 2005 19:22  
Blogger Betty chimed in with...

That Daniel Powter wears a hat to cover up extensive and unsightly scarring from emergency brain surgery.

Someone should turn a gun on KT Tunstall as well. And Keane. And Athlete.

12 December, 2005 19:31  
Blogger mig bardsley chimed in with...

I also know him not. but the link is brilliant.

12 December, 2005 19:35  
Blogger belladona chimed in with...

Bunch of bastards. Covered him in tomatoes with much happiness. Thank you, I'd been wanting to do that to the smug git.

12 December, 2005 19:48  
Blogger Homer chimed in with...

In some ways, Surly, you and I are very different people...

12 December, 2005 20:01  
Blogger surly girl chimed in with...

oh god, affleet and their dreary mumbling. i trust powter's surgery hurt? seems only fair. i bet that was a bad day...

homer - please don't tell me you like blunt the cunt. i couldn't bear it.

(i'd forgive you though, cos you're ace)

12 December, 2005 20:04  
Blogger spindleshanks chimed in with...

what about dido? she seems to fit in with that insipid lot.

12 December, 2005 20:53  
Blogger surly girl chimed in with...

oh lord, i can't believe i forgot dildo and her pointless complaining...."everything is sort of ok but my hair's a bit rubbish today"...."i forgot to buy loo roll at tescos and now i need a poo" etc etc et-bloody-cetera.

ugh. thanks spindly.

12 December, 2005 21:14  
Anonymous other half chimed in with...

I won't have a bad word said against Michael Buble...he's this generations Sinatra, if only he'd get some original material...along with Harry Connick Jr...modern swing master !!!!!

12 December, 2005 21:45  
Blogger surly girl chimed in with...

oh dear. please accept my apologies on behalf of the other half. he's normally quite sane, you know. except for liking me and all that...

12 December, 2005 22:00  
Blogger the Beep chimed in with...

How can you. How can you live with that... that... I can't call it taste, and be so rude about Jack Johnson.

Mind you, my son thinks you're great. Deep Purps, and Irony Maiden. Unless you were being ironic of course....

12 December, 2005 22:30  
Blogger JonnyB chimed in with...

Ms Eclectech is of course very brilliant and what she says goes.

I quite like KT Tunstall. I have tried not to, but I can't shake it. I feel that this is some sort of watershed moment in my life.

13 December, 2005 00:22  
Anonymous Piggy and Tazzy chimed in with...

Very tense indeed.

13 December, 2005 00:25  
Blogger GreatSheElephant chimed in with...

splendid. I scored 87 tomatoes. Is that good?

I clearly am a snob after all (pace Spin, homer et al) because when I heard that Blunt was ex army I was initially intrigued. This dispelled completely when I heard his whingy, weedy, drooly little voice singing and saw his haircut.

13 December, 2005 10:28  
Anonymous dealer chimed in with...

Have you people got no heart? Have you never supped the tears of a clown? Or carved rainbows from the wool of a lamb named Poppikins you brought up yourself, feeding it milk from your own teat and sharing stories in the moonlight? Have you never felt the joy in your heart swell larger than a tumescent horse because even the spiders who eat each other after mating do so with love? Really?

Just me, huh?

13 December, 2005 10:38  
Blogger surly girl chimed in with...

dealer, that nearly moved me to tears...

13 December, 2005 10:58  
Blogger patroclus chimed in with...

Love? What would the boy Blunt know about love? He sees some fit bird at the bus stop and *thinks* he's in love. Displaying all the emotional infantilism you would expect of an individual that's spent his formative years at boarding school and in the military. Pfff.

13 December, 2005 11:21  
Blogger funny thing chimed in with...

Don't you think that KT Tunstall sounds like cery Matthews from Catatonia?

Oh just me then?
*sidles off*

13 December, 2005 12:49  
Blogger funny thing chimed in with...

Cerys Matthews.

13 December, 2005 12:49  
Blogger surly girl chimed in with...

i hadn't, but now i do...

13 December, 2005 13:12  
Blogger bedshaped chimed in with...

I wish to stand up and defend the Blunt camp!

Point of note....You mentioned a dislike for Katie Melua twice. Does the double negative mean in fact that you have a secret, soft spot for her?

13 December, 2005 22:58  
Blogger Cheezy chimed in with...

Can I add Alanis Morrisette to the shitlist? I realise that she's not exactly 'now', but I remembered her the other day while I was wiping my arse.

14 December, 2005 09:07  
Blogger surly girl chimed in with...

bedshaped - it most certainly does not. and i am having trouble reconciling what i've read of you with your confessed love of blunt....

and cheezy - add you you like my friend. i quite like alanis but i have to be premenstrual/out of chocolate to really appreciate the depths of her self-pity...

14 December, 2005 10:07  
Blogger patroclus chimed in with...

Pfff - Alanis Morissette is the poor (wo)man's Martha Wainwright.

Oh, I'm so full of joy and tolerance today.

14 December, 2005 10:23  
Blogger patroclus chimed in with...

*Corrects spelling*

Morissette. Sorry Alanis.

14 December, 2005 10:26  
Blogger patroclus chimed in with...

Oh Christ, that's what I originally said. And now I'm talking to myself and cluttering up the comments thread. Sorry SG.

14 December, 2005 10:27  
Blogger surly girl chimed in with...

let you off, pats. it's wednesday, after all.

14 December, 2005 10:29  
Blogger Soft Moon Shining chimed in with...

I have never been afraid of poking my head above the parapet - despite the fact that it freuqently gets shot off ..... I actually like him.
I did laugh out loud at the video though - perhaps I am just one of the brain-washed masses after all.
Christ what a horrible thought.

14 December, 2005 21:14  
Blogger rockmother chimed in with...

Yes I quite agree - each and every one of them a loathsome individual. Utterly ghastly. That Blunt song is just the worst and so many people love it - they should all be shot!

20 December, 2005 00:23  
Anonymous Old Lady chimed in with...

Please let me die. Instantly.

Or shoot me.

Long time - since summer 2005, drivin' tru ireland - I defended against Mister Blunt in my head, in my car, anywhere.

But - unfortunately forced to be present on a concert of him - I was absolutely surprised. His voice was not that high, his guitar was not that peace bringing like on disc. I quite like him, now.

By the way..I'm asking myself since ages, why Daniel P. is wearing that sort of hat. I implore for clearing up.

..and now I'm going to buy a good shampoo für Mister Blunt.

08 February, 2006 14:10  

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