Actually, you really shouldn't have.
The best christmas present I ever received came my way in 1982, in the shape of a Kids From Fame top/skirt outfit. It was in that grey sweatshirty material, and the top had a burgundy "Fame" logo on the right hand side. It looked fabulous with my burgundy legwarmers and pixie boots, and I was the best-dressed girl at the screaming, drunken argument-fest that our house traditionally descended into on christmas day (the only day of the year when we would actively encourage my stepfather to drink as it meant he would go to bed at four o'clock and we could watch the Two Ronnies christmas special in peace).
The worst christmas present I ever received was about three years ago. When we got engaged, the Ex couldn't afford an engagement ring, so I made do with a body-piercing ring (don't ask). It was explained to me that, should I ever want a "proper" ring (i.e. one costing more than three quid), all I had to do was ask. I did so a couple of times, but to no avail. In the year in question I had finally decided that enough was enough, and had even gone to the lengths of showing the Ex a beautiful ring in the window of the jewellers, accompanied by the words "that one. That's the one I want. That platinum one with the diamonds and the amethyst". He nodded and smiled and I felt sure that finally the message had got through.
On Christmas morning, I excitedly unwrapped my gifts and gasped with delight.....
....as I discovered that in a fit of generosity, in addition to my credit-card-sized-and-shaped Swiss Army penknife, the Ex had also splashed out on some flashing red LED's for the spokes on my bike.
Bastard. No wonder I left him.
Carry on.
The worst christmas present I ever received was about three years ago. When we got engaged, the Ex couldn't afford an engagement ring, so I made do with a body-piercing ring (don't ask). It was explained to me that, should I ever want a "proper" ring (i.e. one costing more than three quid), all I had to do was ask. I did so a couple of times, but to no avail. In the year in question I had finally decided that enough was enough, and had even gone to the lengths of showing the Ex a beautiful ring in the window of the jewellers, accompanied by the words "that one. That's the one I want. That platinum one with the diamonds and the amethyst". He nodded and smiled and I felt sure that finally the message had got through.
On Christmas morning, I excitedly unwrapped my gifts and gasped with delight.....
....as I discovered that in a fit of generosity, in addition to my credit-card-sized-and-shaped Swiss Army penknife, the Ex had also splashed out on some flashing red LED's for the spokes on my bike.
Bastard. No wonder I left him.
Carry on.
posted by surly girl at 3:06 pm
25 Comments:
Thank god you found your OH!
♥
I remember going over your Christmas list with B a couple of years ago (must have been fireworks night)on which you had written "engagement ring". We pointedly said to the Ex, "Think we'd better leave that one to you to get, nudge nudge, wink, wink."
I think that was the year he bought you the cheap toiletries from Woolworth's which screamed "will upset sensitive skin".
Note to self...sharp implements and flashy reflectors do not a good present make !!!
At least it means I don't have to waste time pressie shopping in Halfords hehehe.
One year my mum wanted a fox, you know that kind you wrap around your neck or put on your shoulder that screams animal cruelty |anything for fashion, bless|. it was back when they were very fashionable. Anyway, come christmas my mum found a present from my dad under the tree that looked like it could be the said fox. She stalled and then as the last present, she finally opened it. It was an air hose for the dryer.
I, to my shame, have always been a top Christmas sulker. I'm better these days but am still always a little miffed that nobody seems to pick up on my broad hints that a helicopter or, at the very least, a nifty sports-car, will be just the ticket. Now I have my own child I am annoyingly expected to add like an adult on Christmas morning.
I bet the Ex never bought you SHOES either. Bastard.
My mother, after many years, finally bought her own wedding ring, and just informed my father of the purchase. He just couldn't be trusted.
I had a boyfriend who took me to watch speedway trials for a date once (i was cold, bored and not impressed) and ont he way out bought a £2 mug with SPEEDWAY written on the side. This is what I was given for Christmas a month later. Bastard.
Another boyfriend bought me lots of tacky 8ct gold jewellery (I don't wear gold at ALL what was he thinking?!) and then moaned that I never wore his presents (well you should have thought about that before threw good taste to the wind and bought me hideous chunky 8ct gold jewellery) but he was generous, because he also got me a handheld hoover from Woolworths and an ice scraper kit for my car. yes, it brought tears to his eyes as I aimed the items AT HIS HEAD
Hmm, my ex bought me some LEDs for my bike - not for Christmas (can't remember the occassion though I do remember the crushing disappointment). I finished with him.
Any males reading this: you have been warned... (though if you want to finish with someone and can't be arsed, now is the time to nip into Halfords.. make sure you buy a really fancy box to put the LEDs into so it has maximum impact and you'll be single again before Queenie addresses the nation.)
Ah well at least you'll always be able to remove stones from horses hooves.
At least you got something. My lovely ex-boyfriend didn't get my a present one Christmas, pleading poverty, but bought himself an N64.
Although nothing is definitely preferable to a tumble-drier hose.
Christ Almighty. Hilarious though.
ah yes, the grey sweatshirt material kids from fame thing
had those (although without the logo - was probably too expensive)
pixie boots (cream) - check
legwarmers (many pairs) - check
if i thought that i could still wear that stuff and look hot (i.e. skinny and energetic), believe me, i would
so now we just have to find a fountain to dance around...
des-da
des-da
des-da-MONA!
step up to the mike, SG!!
what, and say what's on my mind? i couldn't possibly....
shit presents ahoy! glad some have had worse than me....am i glad? well, more sympathetic, really.
honest.
here as i watch the ships go by
how i'd like to sail away
leaving all my past behind
but i'd know i'd only last
for a couple of days
etc.
*sniffs*
me and my sisters lurve that song
and who could forget:
the moon's up, and the sun's down
and a thousand starry eyes have caught me crying....
*logs on to amazon to check availability of kids from fame cd*
Fame top/skirt outfit, legwarmers and pixie boots - I'm building a complete personality profile here - I can't wait for the glam rock instalment.
BTW can I have the credit-card-sized Swiss Army penknife thingy if you don't want it (sorry but I'm a bloke).
a thousand starry eyes...ah!
[tell me if you can find CD on amazon, woncha, SG?]
amopodex - mail me at the address on my profile and i'll send it to you - found it tonight in the "crap drawer" in the kitchen....
spindly - please elaborate. pleeeease...
copy cd for me please!
Me, I give crap presents. At least it's a present, you ungrateful sod.
SG - it could be worse. My ex actually did give me the ring, shortly before I left him. It's a very nice ring and I can't wear it without feeling enormous, crushing guilt.
SG gives great pressies. Last Xmas I got 2 of the funniest books I have ever read, resulting in me laughing so loud my sides literally ached.
Added to this was my Barry White CD which enabled me to dance around the living room pre-lunch in a wine / champagne induced haze totally oblivious to all the problems of the world. I was very surprised to turn round and see SG standing in the doorway with a lovely smile on her face !!!
I'm glad that you're with Other Half now. He seems to be much much much much much MUCH better man than your ex. No comparison.
I'm still waiting for my engagement ring:-( We got engaged accidently while drunk one Christmas - his mother immediately rushed off & thrust Aggies grandmothers ring at him growling "give it to her right now!" It didn't fit & I was promised a proper one as soon as the shops opened.
That was 1997.
Although my mother bought me a vacuum cleaner for my 21st birthday! That was pretty awful & didn't quite live up to expectations.
We don't really do Xmas pressies now though - all the money foes on the ****ing kids!
When I was about 11, My Mum and Dad bought me a an antique silver backed hair brush set.
But no Cindy Doll. no pony. No colt 45. Goddammit, no samll zoo animals from the post office.
i was heartbroken, never recovered.
Mrs A. - engagement rings are truly, profoundly naff.
not my fault!! i expect you were jealous of my bad perm and white stilletos too....
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