Thursday, November 24, 2005

Um, anyone?

I was going to post a rant about my doctors-apppointment-that-wasn't this morning and the abject stupidity of doctor's receptionists, who on the one hand can haughtily diagnose you over the phone and offer you an appointment three weeks next Wednesday on the basis that they don't think you're ill enough, but on the other hand, when asked a simple, unambiguous question completely fail to tell you you need to go somewhere else for that and instead book you in with a doctor who is unpleasant and sneers at you that "we don't do that here. why have you come to see me?"....*breathes*....but I didn't think you'd be interested.

So instead I will simply record my mild panic at the prospect of spending time with my new boss so that he can "find out what I do on a daily basis". We're scheduled in from 10.30 until four pm. WTF? I'm not sure he's going to be receptive to the news that I surf the internet for a living, so I'll be using all your lovely management speak to throw him off the scent.

"Honestly, New Boss, I'd love to pinpoint how I maximise my available worktimeframespatialwindow, but it's like nailing jelly to the wall".

Carry on.

24 Comments:

Anonymous Other Half chimed in with...

Failing that flutter your baby-blue eyes at him and show lots of cleavage...works every time you need to distract me !!!

24 November, 2005 10:49  
Blogger funny thing chimed in with...

Looks like you've got the thumbs up for flirting.
Print this off as evidence and use it when needed in the future....

24 November, 2005 11:25  
Blogger Lee chimed in with...

Oh god. I have pity for you. If they ever figure out what a free ride I'm on here, there'd be hell to pay!

Good luck. And use lots of words like 'synergy'.

24 November, 2005 11:30  
Blogger surly girl chimed in with...

i would no more flirt with new boss than i would flirt with david mellor. uurgh. the baby-blues and the boobs got me off a speeding fine once. mind you, i was sixteen. nowadays i'd have to gesture people towards my feet if they wanted to look at my boobs. ah, the ravages of time...

he is now 59 minutes late for our meeting......

24 November, 2005 11:31  
Anonymous other half chimed in with...

Big breathes.....over to you to explain that one hon !!!

24 November, 2005 11:40  
Anonymous other half chimed in with...

Bugger, I spelled that wrong so it makes even less sense now !!!

24 November, 2005 11:40  
Blogger surly girl chimed in with...

loony.

yeth, and i'm only sixthteen....

(best joke ever)

24 November, 2005 11:46  
Blogger Aginoth chimed in with...

So has he turned up?

24 November, 2005 12:20  
Blogger garfer chimed in with...

Will you get a free lunch? If so go light on the vino otherwise you might end up telling him the full unexpurgated truth.

24 November, 2005 12:45  
Anonymous The Girl Behind the Partition chimed in with...

If you do get lunch eat with your mouth open! That'll put him off the idea of a long meeting. Then when he asks what you're doing tell him you're chewing over new ideas!!

24 November, 2005 13:26  
Anonymous Piggy and Tazzy chimed in with...

If you get that free lunch, use the opportunity to show him just how expensive your taste is.

Then rub his knee under the table - you'll make him feel good and be in line for a pay rise.

If you're feeling brave, give him a blow job - that one will earn you a promotion.

Whatever you do, don't swallow! Make sure you dribble some of it a hankie for future insurance.

Oh. And post a pic of it for us all to see.

24 November, 2005 14:08  
Blogger Wyndham chimed in with...

If there's anything worse than a boss, it's a new boss! Best of luck.

24 November, 2005 14:31  
Blogger surly girl chimed in with...

just had the meeting. i said "culture shift", "below the line" and "extrapolate".

no wine, no oral. sorry to disappoint.

24 November, 2005 14:43  
Blogger Wyndham chimed in with...

As long as you said "extrapolate" and not "exfoliate." It's a crucial difference.

24 November, 2005 15:10  
Blogger Donna chimed in with...

Did he enjoy the blog viewing, or did you pretend you actually do something?

24 November, 2005 15:13  
Blogger surly girl chimed in with...

i managed to convince him that, not only do i have enough work to keep me busy for 35 hours a week, i actually have too much.

i should write a self-help book.

24 November, 2005 15:40  
Anonymous other half chimed in with...

Pleased it was a no go on the oral front...call me old fashioned but that just doesn't fit with my idea of a modern relationship. Or am I being too prudish ?

24 November, 2005 16:00  
Blogger funny thing chimed in with...

You're being controlling and archiac.

Us modern girls like to give blow jobs several times a day. I, for example, struggle to make it more than half and hour without going on down and having a good ol' chew.

I'm currently waiting for the delivery man to come over and drop his keks. I'm a bit worried about the drive home as it takes more than an hour... I might have to stop off at a service station. (Say no more).

24 November, 2005 16:47  
Blogger Kyahgirl chimed in with...

by the time you read this, you will already have survived (I hope!) the interview. Did you manage to bamboozle him?
best wishes - L

24 November, 2005 16:53  
Blogger Inexplicable DeVice chimed in with...

Just want to say you scared me too with your comment today on Glitter For Brains.

I laughed first as I imagined it then became silent as I thought about it a bit more. Looking forward to some great nightmares tonight...

24 November, 2005 19:51  
Blogger elvira black chimed in with...

I totally hear you on the scary, know it all receptionist thing. Glad your interview went well--but of course it did! You can always be counted on to come up with a great story (lol).

24 November, 2005 20:30  
Blogger Sniffy chimed in with...

You need to turn the attention on him. Ask him how he's going to collate the information from his "scoping" exercise and how he'll use it to inform his new operational strategy for the team.

I did precisely fuck all at work today. Absolutely nothing. Could hardly believe it myself. It's quite demoralising when you think about it.

24 November, 2005 22:27  
Blogger mig bardsley chimed in with...

You *must* write a self help book at once. It will revolutionise the genre! Can't wait.

24 November, 2005 23:39  
Blogger Donna chimed in with...

Yay Tina! Welcome to the club. I would actually be interested to know what percentage of the employed population actually have proper things to do.

25 November, 2005 09:49  

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