Um, anyone?
I was going to post a rant about my doctors-apppointment-that-wasn't this morning and the abject stupidity of doctor's receptionists, who on the one hand can haughtily diagnose you over the phone and offer you an appointment three weeks next Wednesday on the basis that they don't think you're ill enough, but on the other hand, when asked a simple, unambiguous question completely fail to tell you you need to go somewhere else for that and instead book you in with a doctor who is unpleasant and sneers at you that "we don't do that here. why have you come to see me?"....*breathes*....but I didn't think you'd be interested.
So instead I will simply record my mild panic at the prospect of spending time with my new boss so that he can "find out what I do on a daily basis". We're scheduled in from 10.30 until four pm. WTF? I'm not sure he's going to be receptive to the news that I surf the internet for a living, so I'll be using all your lovely management speak to throw him off the scent.
"Honestly, New Boss, I'd love to pinpoint how I maximise my available worktimeframespatialwindow, but it's like nailing jelly to the wall".
Carry on.
So instead I will simply record my mild panic at the prospect of spending time with my new boss so that he can "find out what I do on a daily basis". We're scheduled in from 10.30 until four pm. WTF? I'm not sure he's going to be receptive to the news that I surf the internet for a living, so I'll be using all your lovely management speak to throw him off the scent.
"Honestly, New Boss, I'd love to pinpoint how I maximise my available worktimeframespatialwindow, but it's like nailing jelly to the wall".
Carry on.
posted by surly girl at 10:18 am
24 Comments:
Failing that flutter your baby-blue eyes at him and show lots of cleavage...works every time you need to distract me !!!
Looks like you've got the thumbs up for flirting.
Print this off as evidence and use it when needed in the future....
Oh god. I have pity for you. If they ever figure out what a free ride I'm on here, there'd be hell to pay!
Good luck. And use lots of words like 'synergy'.
i would no more flirt with new boss than i would flirt with david mellor. uurgh. the baby-blues and the boobs got me off a speeding fine once. mind you, i was sixteen. nowadays i'd have to gesture people towards my feet if they wanted to look at my boobs. ah, the ravages of time...
he is now 59 minutes late for our meeting......
Big breathes.....over to you to explain that one hon !!!
Bugger, I spelled that wrong so it makes even less sense now !!!
loony.
yeth, and i'm only sixthteen....
(best joke ever)
So has he turned up?
Will you get a free lunch? If so go light on the vino otherwise you might end up telling him the full unexpurgated truth.
If you do get lunch eat with your mouth open! That'll put him off the idea of a long meeting. Then when he asks what you're doing tell him you're chewing over new ideas!!
If you get that free lunch, use the opportunity to show him just how expensive your taste is.
Then rub his knee under the table - you'll make him feel good and be in line for a pay rise.
If you're feeling brave, give him a blow job - that one will earn you a promotion.
Whatever you do, don't swallow! Make sure you dribble some of it a hankie for future insurance.
Oh. And post a pic of it for us all to see.
If there's anything worse than a boss, it's a new boss! Best of luck.
just had the meeting. i said "culture shift", "below the line" and "extrapolate".
no wine, no oral. sorry to disappoint.
As long as you said "extrapolate" and not "exfoliate." It's a crucial difference.
Did he enjoy the blog viewing, or did you pretend you actually do something?
i managed to convince him that, not only do i have enough work to keep me busy for 35 hours a week, i actually have too much.
i should write a self-help book.
Pleased it was a no go on the oral front...call me old fashioned but that just doesn't fit with my idea of a modern relationship. Or am I being too prudish ?
You're being controlling and archiac.
Us modern girls like to give blow jobs several times a day. I, for example, struggle to make it more than half and hour without going on down and having a good ol' chew.
I'm currently waiting for the delivery man to come over and drop his keks. I'm a bit worried about the drive home as it takes more than an hour... I might have to stop off at a service station. (Say no more).
by the time you read this, you will already have survived (I hope!) the interview. Did you manage to bamboozle him?
best wishes - L
Just want to say you scared me too with your comment today on Glitter For Brains.
I laughed first as I imagined it then became silent as I thought about it a bit more. Looking forward to some great nightmares tonight...
I totally hear you on the scary, know it all receptionist thing. Glad your interview went well--but of course it did! You can always be counted on to come up with a great story (lol).
You need to turn the attention on him. Ask him how he's going to collate the information from his "scoping" exercise and how he'll use it to inform his new operational strategy for the team.
I did precisely fuck all at work today. Absolutely nothing. Could hardly believe it myself. It's quite demoralising when you think about it.
You *must* write a self help book at once. It will revolutionise the genre! Can't wait.
Yay Tina! Welcome to the club. I would actually be interested to know what percentage of the employed population actually have proper things to do.
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