Tuesday, November 22, 2005

They just use your mind

Then they never give you credit......

Today I am actually earning my salary, and to be honest I rather resent the intrusion. I mean, when am I supposed to find the time to visit all my favourite blogs and leave witty*, erudite** comments? So instead of endowing your comments boxes with the warm glow you get when my name pops up, I am instead struggling with budgets, spreadsheets and Very Hard Sums. Bah.

In other news, the Ex has been away for a week and a half now and hasn't bothered to call Small Person. She is weepy and fragile and I could cheerfully kill him with my bare hands. He's only halfway through his trip and I am at a loss as to how best to comfort her. I'm not sure that whispering "there there, Daddy's an unfeeling tightwad who, in addition to having a tenuous grip on the concept of personal hygiene, is feigning indifference to your feelings as it might cost him some money to contact you" in a soothing voice will necessarily help. Poor lambkin.

Carry on.

* Wit is not guaranteed
** Neither is erudition


Blogger funny thing chimed in with...

That goes for all men.

Apart from Other Half, of course.

22 November, 2005 11:51  
Blogger Donna chimed in with...

Seconded. That's except for your OH and my OH - obviously - altho my OH has been rather shitty the last couple of days.

I want to do hard sums. Job Swap? Hey - that's a business idea. We could set up an agency doing Job Swaps.

Off to think it through ...

Poor SP - just don't mention the pig, or lie and tell her he sent a message saying he loves her.

22 November, 2005 12:05  
Blogger Wyndham chimed in with...

And the hygiene thing as well. I'm almost tempted to ask what that alludes to, exactly.

22 November, 2005 12:09  
Blogger Aginoth chimed in with...

Agree Mr.Triffid there's another blog out of this tale if I'm not mistaken...

22 November, 2005 12:51  
Anonymous Other Half chimed in with...

Most of the time SP is pretty resilient, a remarkable trait bearing in mind the last 18 months of her life. That said she does worry when the stable (?) factors in her life change suddenly.

She was similarly upset when SG and I disappeared on our hols but the feeling of abandonment was felt in equal proportion by both SG and SP and those feelings were dealt with by regular phone calls until our return. Rest assured it will be a while before we go on such a long holiday by which time I hope SP will be older and better able to cope.

All we can do in the intervening period is try to reassure her of her fathers impending return and what exciting stories he will have to tell of far off places. Doesn't help much when SG is confronted by a sad SP first thing in the morning though, keep smiling hon...will all get sorted for the best I'm sure.

22 November, 2005 12:53  
Blogger Kellycat chimed in with...

May I suggest faking a postcard from New Zealand, then showing it to Ex when he gets back, explaining that this is what you had to do to stop SP crying, and that you suggest he goes along with the story for the sake of a) his daughter,and b) his genitalia.

22 November, 2005 13:06  
Blogger Urban Chick chimed in with...

yes, i think we need to know more about the personal hygiene thing (so long as you warn me to avoid eating beforehand)

22 November, 2005 13:25  
Blogger Juggling Mother chimed in with...

I say stick with (a version of) the truth. tell SP that daddy is a long way away & very busy, and all the times are wrong so it's hard to call her, but he will be back in so many days & then he can tell her all about it in person (assuming he's likely to do that?)

Lieing rarely helps in the long run & small people are much cleverer than we give them credit for!

22 November, 2005 14:06  
Blogger Lee chimed in with...

I know someone who does voodoo.

Just putting it out there. No real reason to mention it. Nosiree.

22 November, 2005 14:13  
Blogger MinCat chimed in with...

im with kellycat and funny thing. and lee!

22 November, 2005 14:50  
Blogger Whinger chimed in with...

Poor lambkin, indeed. And what an awkward position it puts you in.

But let's all look on the bright side: Perhaps he's been kidnapped.

And I was made to work yesterday at well, despite the fact that I declared it my intention to get through all my Christmas magazines in the morning.

22 November, 2005 16:17  
Blogger Kyahgirl chimed in with...

Poor small person. What a bastard your ex is. Does he not know you can buy phone cards that work all around the world and it only costs a few cents per minute to use them?
*pulls international phone card from wallet*
Here it says its only 6.9 cents per minute from Canada to New Zealand/Australia. Can't be much different than that from the UK can it?
People who are insensitive to small people should be severely punished. ARGH!

22 November, 2005 16:31  
Blogger Meegan chimed in with...

Aww, poor little Small Person. I agree with the fake postcard thing. She's too young to understand about postmarks, etc, so it should work and make her feel better.

And yeah, the ex sounds like a real fucktard!

22 November, 2005 16:45  
Blogger surly girl chimed in with...

go meegan!! good use of swears.

i'm actually not convinced he's going to come back, you know. mind you, that could be my worst-case-scenariometer kicking into overdrive for a change.

i'm tired. i hope i'm not expected to do work tomorrow as well.

22 November, 2005 19:30  
Blogger surly girl chimed in with...

oh, and as for the Ex's hygiene issues....

let's just say that i was the only one in that relationship who was of the opinion that, if you couldn't remember when you last had a shower, it was probably time you had another one.

22 November, 2005 19:31  
Blogger Inexplicable DeVice chimed in with...

Much as I'd love to impart some advice or witty comments about Fucktard (just lovely, Meegan - I may be borrowing that), I fear they'd be rather insipid, as I too have been actually working. Must stop before people get used to it...

22 November, 2005 21:01  
Anonymous Ant chimed in with...

Bit bitter, funny thing? Was about to suggest... well, something involving short words. But then I calmed down.

Must say though that I literally cannot understand how your Ex could do that to the Small One. I mean, not knowing him, you, Small Person or the situation particularly well doesn't exactly aid understanding, but as a general point... sheesh. I imagine doing that to my daughter and it upsets me. Quite a bit, actually.

Also, Very Hard Sums are the worst kind of sum. I suggest you avoid them from now on.

22 November, 2005 21:07  
Blogger Mike chimed in with...

Nah! Tell her. You know you want to!

22 November, 2005 21:18  
Blogger S.I.D. chimed in with...

You actually work?

Whats it like?

22 November, 2005 21:19  
Blogger GreatSheElephant chimed in with...

Some men are like that. My father used to travel on business 7 months out of the year and he never rang either me or my mother while he was away.

Doesn't make it right though. Fucktard.

22 November, 2005 21:21  
Blogger RickB chimed in with...

If the man of the house is away all the time you end up gay. It's true, it happened to me.

22 November, 2005 22:18  
Blogger surly girl chimed in with...

enderby - tell who what?

rickb - am trying to get my head round that particular dynamic and failing. please explain.

ID - swearing rules. it fucking rules.

coldearth - about four days out of any given month, yes.

ant - see, if you can see that, why can't he?

gse - men. feh.

22 November, 2005 22:23  
Blogger The Mincemeat Vixen chimed in with...

Don't worry, it'll all come back to him when she gets married & asks her step dad to walk her down the aisle instead. And believe me, it's deeply satisfying.

23 November, 2005 05:29  
Blogger GreatSheElephant chimed in with...

vixen, not necessarily. I didn't invite my parents to my wedding and they took me aside and thanked me for saving them money. I think they won that one.

23 November, 2005 10:53  
Blogger Yidchick chimed in with...

Silly, silly ex. And you are always witty and erudite, even when earning your living :-)

23 November, 2005 11:58  

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