Friday, November 25, 2005

Random acts of kindness

It's Star Time at Small Person's school this afternoon. It's actually a really nice idea - there are awards for all sorts of things, and they always make sure the less academically-minded kids are rewarded for the things they excel at. There's a random half-sung, half-shouted song, and the kids are then called up one by one for Mrs Wilkes to big up in her modulated yet steely tones (I am scared of Mrs Wilkes. She makes me fidget, which makes me convinced that I'm going to get sent out).

The Other Half is unable to attend this afternoon's glittering ceremony, so Kellycat will be attending again. Last time, we sat open-mouthed in astonishment (and soon after dissolved into helpless giggles - that assembly thing never really leaves you) as Small Person (who is five) proudly received her prize for her "painting of a train in the style of Turner". Kellycat emailed me this morning to ask if she could attend:

>>Can I still come to Star Time and if so what time?

I want to see if Small Person has won a prize for writing about what she did in the holidays in the style of Proust.<<

She is much funnier than me. Bah.

In other news, is it very wrong to have instigated an office George Best Sweepstake? The smart money's on ten past one this afternoon.

Carry on.


Blogger helen chimed in with...

Brilliant idea.

Should have choked on his own vodka-saturated vomit back in 1982 if you ask me.

25 November, 2005 11:11  
Anonymous Other Half chimed in with...

See, that's the problem. Despite all his failings (and there are many) boys will always have a place in their hearts for Bestie.

If you ever saw him play you would know him as a footballing genius, not just a pathetic alcoholic who deprived a more worthy person of a new liver.

25 November, 2005 11:15  
Blogger surly girl chimed in with...

but, as Spinsterella so eloquently put on Garfer's post about Bestie the other day:

>>He may have been a fantastic footballer but not since 1975 for frig's sake.

At least Ollie Reed was still making the odd film when he drank himself to death.<<

I'll drink to that.

(that was a Very Difficult Comment to collate. i hope you appreciate it)

25 November, 2005 11:20  
Blogger Kellycat chimed in with...

SG, you've just said that so that everyone will leave a comment saying "No, we've read Hormones and Handbags and you're much funnier!"

Admit it.

25 November, 2005 11:22  
Blogger surly girl chimed in with...

no, it's because i mean it!

(sometimes i am nice. rare, but it can happen)

25 November, 2005 11:34  
Blogger mig bardsley chimed in with...

Gone are the days when genii died decently in peaceful drunken poverty-stricken obscurity with only one liver to their names. (one each that is)*
I wish we could see SP's picture of a train in the style of Turner.
*bit of a problem with plurals there.

25 November, 2005 12:08  
Blogger Kellycat chimed in with...

Um OK then. Thank you. (Not quite sure how to react to niceness from SG)

How old will SP have to be before she can join our quiz team? Bearing in mind that she is now officially five and a half.

25 November, 2005 12:14  
Blogger LC chimed in with...

Easiest story ever for the news reporters to cover:

"Is he dead yet? Is he dead yet? Is he dead yet? Is he dead yet? Is he dead yet? Is he dead yet? Is he dead yet? Is he dead yet? Is he dead yet? Is he dead yet?"

25 November, 2005 12:57  
Blogger Donna chimed in with...

Dyl got a certificate in Year 1 for "Trying to be good."

ymcmxj: work out the arm movements to that one ...

25 November, 2005 12:58  
Blogger Kellycat chimed in with...

At the last Star Time, a quite posh six year old also stood up to announce that he had won a prize for "excellence in literacy". At my primary school it would have been for "readin' and writin'".

25 November, 2005 13:02  
Blogger Donna chimed in with...

"that assembly thing never really leaves you"

Churches still make me giggle too.

25 November, 2005 13:04  
Blogger Betty chimed in with...

Well he's gone - three minutes past one so you weren't far out ... I think he is among the handful of British footballers who were entertaining to watch even for those of us who have only a passing interest in the game (see also Paul Gascoigne and Wayne Rooney). Oh, and unlike them he was also as handsome as Terence Stamp in his prime. Phwoar.

25 November, 2005 13:06  
Anonymous Ant chimed in with...

Best: whatever. Couldn't give one. Except I'd rather his death didn't steal the thunder from my bday.

Much more important: go Small Person on Star Time!

25 November, 2005 13:17  
Blogger surly girl chimed in with...

happy birthday ant...

i won! ahem, condolences to the family, etc.

i now fear i hold the power of life and death. a few years ago i won celebrity deaders in the pub - i'd had the queen mum all along then decided to change it to phyllis pearce off of coronation street. the very next day she died. spooky....netted me twenty quid tho. eyyyy!

25 November, 2005 13:30  
Anonymous The Girl Behind the Partition chimed in with...

Well at least he's had the decency to die now! Blimey I've never known anyone to take so long dying.. well apart from the Pope of course, or maybe Frank Skinner on the Royal variety Performance!

Anyway the real news today is that, minus Robbie obviously, Take That are back together!!

25 November, 2005 13:30  
Blogger Stef the engineer chimed in with...

Can we have "Star Time" for adults please?
"For carrying all the items wifey bought without complaining too much."
"For writing a report on the stus of NPI processes in group operating sites in the style of Terry Pratchett."

(For successfully persuading new boss of continued value to the organisation?)

I think we should get certificates, and everything.

25 November, 2005 14:23  
Blogger Smat chimed in with...

Fantastic idea Stef - I want a certificate for not killing the Baby Smats when they squabble. And one for thinking about doing the ironing.

25 November, 2005 15:40  
Blogger Lee chimed in with...

Hey Smat - get the kids to do the ironing! Certificates all 'round!

25 November, 2005 15:56  
Blogger Kellycat chimed in with...

Apologies for very shamelessly pimping my blog, but I've now posted what "went down" at Star Time.

25 November, 2005 16:12  
Blogger Perry Neeham chimed in with...

The bloke that klept dosh from your jeans, Phyllis Pearce, Bestie . . . blimey, do your wear a long dark hooded cloak and carry a long handled scythe?

25 November, 2005 16:59  
Blogger Homer chimed in with...

I don't wish to speak ill of the dead, but in the middle of all the teary-eyed eulogies to Georgieboy (not on this site obviously), let's not forget that this was a man who used to write a column for the Daily Mail.

25 November, 2005 17:01  
Blogger Kyahgirl chimed in with...

you're right, kellycat IS funny, but so are you.

Here's hoping that Small Person gets many stars. She's a sweetie.

25 November, 2005 17:40  
Blogger Sniffy chimed in with...

Does your child's school have Star Awards for kids who manage to put their shoes on the right way round? That'd be so funny.

"And a special award goes to Philip Greenhalgh who, for the first time, has managed to put his shoes on the right feet. PLUS he's also learned to use a tissue to blow his nose. Even more good news for Philip is that, now that Miss Williamson has moved on, he'll be taking over as head of year four".

25 November, 2005 23:43  
Blogger FUNKYBROWNCHICK chimed in with...

Very funny.

By the way. I LOVE to hear children singing. It's funny because they literally SHOUT THE WHOLE SONG. :)

26 November, 2005 10:52  
Blogger Inexplicable DeVice chimed in with...

Nothing to do with this post but I've just read November 14th (wasn't aware of this marvellous Blog back then) and added to the general excreta!

I laughed so much - at the post and the disGUSTing comments - that a little bit of wee came out.

Luckily I'm at home. Alone.

Hooray for vileness (except when it happens to us)!

26 November, 2005 13:54  
Blogger Kellycat chimed in with...

The trinity of celebrity deaths has now been completed: Lichfield, Best and the old man from the Karate Kid films.

And I think we killed him. I'm sure at some point last night when Bruce Lee was on we said "wax on, wax off".

26 November, 2005 14:49  
Blogger Robert A. Swipe chimed in with...

You'd never get me going to another assembly again. Well, it's just a ritual of humiliation and personality suppression isn't it? The slow filing in with all the other poor frightened souls, hoping you can hold on without pissing yourself in the middle of it and bringing shame upon yourself and your family. Then the long, boring addresses and the ever-present threat of the cane for anyone who dares to step out of line. The tuneless mumbling that passes for singing and all that for what, eh?

Still, I suppose it's my own fault for joining Unison in the first place....

Love on ya,


azsrimss?: Christ your WVs are hard D-FLAT!!

26 November, 2005 15:12  
Blogger occasional poster of comments chimed in with...

Seemed appropriate the way his death coincided with the morning after the first night of 24hr drinking (well, 1pm is morning if you've been drinking for 24hrs). He'd probably just realised it'd be no fun now it's legal, so he might as well hop it.

There was also a Best-watch in our office. Someone reckoned he carried a Donor Card. Can you be in debit on one of those things?

29 November, 2005 01:49  

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