Sunday, November 20, 2005

In the middle of our street

The second door in from the right of the picture is our front door. To the right of that is our kitchen bay window. We took the Other Half's mum and dad for a poke round the show house today and, while they thoroughly approved of our choice, it felt very odd. The house the Other Half has just sold was his marital home for thirteen years of his seventeen year marriage. Although his parents have known of my existence for some months now, it felt rather odd for us to be showing them round an example of our future home. But ooh, what a beautiful house it's going to be. I never dreamed I'd live somewhere like this - a three storey house where the entire top floor is given over to the "master suite". I know I'd never be able to realise this dream without the Other Half, and I can't help but recall some of the places I've lived on the road to my dream home. I know I'm not alone in this - we've all lived in some proper shitholes, and some of them were even fun....

I grew up in a four-bedroom detached house in suburban, posh Essex. The village was the stereotypical hotbed of alcoholism, wife-swapping and East-End-wideboys-done-good, and I was delighted when my parents moved to Kent when I was sixteen and informed me that I wouldn't be joining them. I moved in with my boyfriend and his parents, and thanked them for their hospitality by sleeping with an acquaintance of my boyfriend. His parents, understandably, kicked me out and I spent the next couple of years living with a violent, psychopathic disaster area. I escaped at nineteen, five weeks before our wedding, and moved to Harlow in deepest Essex to live with a ginger-haired, football-obsessed Mummy's boy. He proposed to me on New Year's Eve of 1993 and I left him in March of 1994 (I didn't really fancy spending the rest of my life cleaning up after him and giving periodic houseroom to his drunken, Scots-pikey parents. Or his seven brothers and sisters and their various children). I moved back to my home town of Chelmsford, Essex and spent the next three years in blissful, pissed-and-stoned oblivion. The Chelmo years warrant a post of their own (as do the at-home years) - suffice to say they involved beer, bikes, drugs, random shags, rather odd parties, some of the best friends I'll ever have and a variety of rundown bedsits. I lived in a house-share where every time someone ran a bath the water would cascade down the wall by the front door. The heating was on between nine and ten am, and four and six pm. When I moved in I spent my first night packing the window frames with newspaper and sellotape, and my curtains were still horizontal on a breezy night. When I moved out of there I spent six weeks on a friend's floor, trying not to mind that she was fucking my boyfriend. I used to ferry him around so he could do his drug deals, and he would borrow my Z650 to "sort out some business" about three times a week which mostly involved him shagging some ginger bird from the pub. We bought a lorry and spent three months or so living in it, during which I laboured under the vastly mistaken illusion that we would travel to India in it. I lost a great deal of money and gained a whole lot of common sense. I subsequently met the Ex and spent seven lost years living in a house I hated with a man I loathed. The past year has, as noted on this blog, been spent battling random noisy neighbours in my rented flat. I am now proficient in Banging On The Wall and Polite Letters of Complaint.

Our new house is, beyond any doubt, beautiful. That aside, I know that the three of us can live there in peace. It's a glittering jewel in our future - somewhere we can all settle and live as the family I never thought I'd have. I know I stole the Other Half from his ex-wife (you've seen the picture - can you blame me?!) and I know I've taken Small Person out of the traditional family dynamic. I hold my hands up as far as that's concerned. Me and her Dad hated each other. These days she lives in an environment of fun, cuddles and laughter, both here and there. She'll always have time with her Dad and I'll do all I can to maximise their relationship.

But I also know that I've never, ever been happier.

Carry on.


Blogger Sniffy chimed in with...

Good on you all, what else is there to add? Apart from, it's a bit like the holidays when you get there and you find the hotel is only half built. You have noticed that your new home is only half built?

Just kidding, it'll be great and it must be absolutely fan-fucking-tastic to have something so wonderful to look towards.

All the best to you all.

Fucking bastards who can afford to buy somewhere to live make me fucking sick. Cunts.

20 November, 2005 23:32  
Blogger MinCat chimed in with...

:) happy endings do exist?

21 November, 2005 04:24  
Blogger zanna chimed in with...

i love you x

21 November, 2005 09:34  
Blogger surly girl chimed in with...

i love you too missus. i didn't put in the part where my fabulous friend let me live in her fabulous flat. and i'll always regret the orange juice incident....

21 November, 2005 09:48  
Blogger zanna chimed in with...

it'll give us something to laugh about in the old folks hme when we've out played the wham records

21 November, 2005 09:50  
Blogger Juggling Mother chimed in with...

You're right, we've all (well nearly all) lived in some shitholes, but you do seem to have worked especially hard at it;-)

Never, ever feel bad about taking small person out of the traditional family dynamic. Living with people who hate each other is far far worse for your Psyche than living with one parent who loves you & gaining brill new adult like OH is even better.

House looks/sounds lovely - although the top floor is a VERY long way up when you're drunk:-)

21 November, 2005 10:14  
Blogger FUNKYBROWNCHICK chimed in with...

Oh, sweetie, it sounds like you've been through A LOT! I'm glad to hear that you're happy, well, in a great relationship, and are set to move into that wonderfully large house. Three cheers for happy endings!! :)

21 November, 2005 12:07  
Blogger Stef the engineer chimed in with...

To avoid being overcome by the sheer mind-boggling enormity of the committment to property, you could always just consider yourself to be house sitting for the mortgage company? Or maybe not...
Hope all goes well with the move!

21 November, 2005 12:15  
Blogger Urban Chick chimed in with...

from all i have read about your life pre-OH, you deserve this happiness 100% and you deserve to live in this lovely house

p.s. wouldn't it be better if the house had a roof, though? i'm sure we all could chip in to buy the tiles and my uncle's mate is a roofer...


21 November, 2005 12:16  
Blogger Spinsterella chimed in with...

Bloody hell Surly, sounds like you've got a few stories to tell.

Your ex-boyfriends make mine seem positively angelic by comparison...

21 November, 2005 16:39  
Blogger surly girl chimed in with...

spinny - don't even get me started.

tina - you're just jealous. when we move in i'll post weekly comments on your blog about how fucking great it is.

21 November, 2005 19:06  
Blogger Whinger chimed in with...

Oh, it's all so exciting. I've never lived in a brand new house - it must be so fun to know that no other family has trod those floorboards. houses.

And my, but your teenagehood was interesting. I cannot believe the number of times you've been engaged!

21 November, 2005 19:13  
Blogger surly girl chimed in with...

well it was only twice.....

did i ever tell you about the time i got arrested...?

21 November, 2005 19:21  
Blogger Whinger chimed in with...

You did not, and must begin writing that entry now.

Sorry if you had other plans.

21 November, 2005 21:28  
Blogger Meegan chimed in with...

Holy f---!!!! I am completely fascinated. You need to write a book.

22 November, 2005 05:22  
Blogger mig bardsley chimed in with...

Sounds like Small Person now has a better family dynamic and two of them to boot. And now a palace!
sounds like she's a lucky SP.
Tell you what, when she's 16, you're going to know a lot too much about what she might really be up to!

22 November, 2005 11:29  
Blogger Cheezy chimed in with...

Crikey, you're not doing much to help break down those Essex stereotypes, Surly... as if you care :)

23 November, 2005 12:41  
Blogger surly girl chimed in with...

oi!! cheek.....

*sips blue alcopop and lights another rothmans*

23 November, 2005 14:04  
Blogger silver horde chimed in with...

Another Chelmsford girl made good here. Living in San Diego now.
My parent's had a pub in Chelmsford from 1960ish to the late 1970's and all the 'goings on' must have gone over my head!
I did have a disaster of a 1st marrage to a typical Essex boy and lived in my fair share of horrendous accomadation however!!
Interesting blog.

01 December, 2005 22:13  

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