Wednesday, November 02, 2005

Can you tell what it is yet?

Speaking of cocks, much hilarity has ensued today with the arrival of an email from a customer. He has kindly pointed out that the mailshot which has recently gone out to, ooh, thousands and thousands of people, contains a picture that on first glance merely shows a lovely bikini-clad lady floating lazily in an azure swimming pool. It's designed to evoke warm, dreamy memories of holidays past and prod reluctant bookers into picking up the phone and securing a piece of that for themselves. Regrettably, as this customer felt compelled to tell our Marketing Department, the play of sunlight on water and skin has conspired to furnish the hapless swimmer with a giant cock. And I mean giant. Seriously - it's down to her knees. Her knees. It's eerily anatomically correct and it has the effect on the eye of a magic eye picture - once you've seen it you can't not see it; rearing up out of the water at you like a massive, turgid, rampaging monster.

Ahem. Carry on.

21 Comments:

Blogger car01 chimed in with...

Ooh, but we need to see it. C'mon spill the beans.

02 November, 2005 15:01  
Anonymous Other Half chimed in with...

I can confirm the appearance of said phallic appendage in our latest company publication...and it is indeed very, very funny.

Not only do we have cocks in the company, we now have them in literature advertising our company....the Marketing departments job is done !!!

02 November, 2005 15:10  
Blogger Donna chimed in with...

You have to scan it in and publish it on here. You have to. (I'm rather bossy today, don't you think.)

02 November, 2005 15:24  
Blogger Urban Chick chimed in with...

post it NOW (or email it to me and i will post it to prevent the possibility of you being dooced)

02 November, 2005 16:14  
Blogger zanna chimed in with...

i would also add that i would quite like to see said cock

02 November, 2005 16:41  
Blogger JonnyB chimed in with...

I have no interest in this cock at all.

Do you have anything featuring a nice vagina?

02 November, 2005 16:49  
Blogger surly girl chimed in with...

believe me, when it comes to our clientele the last thing you want is a picture of a vagina in the brochure. either they'd have heart attacks or assume it was de riguer, and nobody likes to see that.....

02 November, 2005 17:03  
Blogger Aginoth chimed in with...

You have got to show us this picture...

Oh and if I ask nicely could I get you to link to me....please please please :o)

02 November, 2005 20:16  
Blogger garfer chimed in with...

Please can we have a peek Miss? We'll be your bestest friend ever.

02 November, 2005 22:16  
Blogger LC chimed in with...

Pfff... I live in Brighton, and am not at all impressed by 'women' with big cocks. Everyday occurance round here...

02 November, 2005 23:42  
Blogger Kyahgirl chimed in with...

You're inhumane! You can't tell us this story and NOT produce the photo. I'm about to have a temper tantrum!

03 November, 2005 04:22  
Blogger Who is this Dave? chimed in with...

I am amazed that no one has pointed out that down-to-your-knees isn't giant size, but average.

03 November, 2005 08:35  
Blogger surly girl chimed in with...

i'm sorry, but it's just going to have to live in your (no doubt fertile) imaginations. if i ever meet any of you i promise i'l bring it with me. honest.

03 November, 2005 10:20  
Blogger Herge Smith chimed in with...

Was the customer upset by this? Or just wanting more?

03 November, 2005 17:20  
Blogger theclamwhisperer chimed in with...

Then your marketing department has succeeded in doing exactly what it set out to do...create a fantasy that most wouldn't mind participating in. I think it's brilliant...sending out a blanket mailer that most would toss but then the subliminary message kicks in... that there is such a thing as a cock to your knees and quickly, you pull the mailer out of the trash and put it under your pillow.

03 November, 2005 19:30  
Blogger funny thing chimed in with...

Oh, come on!

Please?

03 November, 2005 22:33  
Blogger Lippy chimed in with...

Good heavens! Giant, you say?

04 November, 2005 04:26  
Blogger surly girl chimed in with...

yes. HUUUUUGE.

but it's on a girl. you're all sick in the head*


*this is not necessarily a bad thing

04 November, 2005 10:01  
Blogger funny thing chimed in with...

PleasePleasePleasePleasePleasePleasePleasePleasePleasePleasePleasePleasePleasePleasePleasePleasePleasePleasePleasePleasePleasePleasePleasePleasePleasePleasePleasePleasePleasePleasePleasePleasePleasePleasePlease

Or I'll sulk, and then you'll be sorry.

(Please)

04 November, 2005 11:46  
Blogger surly girl chimed in with...

i can't. i'll get dooced and then the thing that might be happening won't happen and i'll never, ever get over it. and then you'll be sorry.

04 November, 2005 11:52  
Blogger funny thing chimed in with...

Well I don't want to see it now anyway.
I've got my own rude pictures that I'm keeping all to myself on my OWN blog, and, and, and... *bluster*.....

07 November, 2005 14:44  

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