Monday, October 24, 2005

Um, pouch?

I struggle with the word "purse". I just can't bring myself to say it and this therefore leaves me in a quandary. "Wallet" sounds a bit, well, butch and I really don't know of an alternative. I'm new to shoes and handbags and the like (some of us have always been obsessed, however) and the fey, girly terminology doesn't sit well with me. When I married the Ex I had pink hair and wore a tie-dyed (I know, I know...but I can't go back and slap myself no matter how much I want to) dress, stripy socks and combat boots. For a good few years I owned two pairs of shoes - my ex-army combat boots (with three pairs of socks as the smallest I could ever get was a seven) and my Sidi motocross boots (for keeping my toes dry when I was a despatch rider). For some reason shoes became very, very important to me around three years ago and I now have an extensive collection of trainers, flip flops (which may or may not have contributed to our seventy quid excess baggage charge when flying to Mexico in May) and gorgeous, pointy, stiletto-heeled slutty shoes and boots. I'm happiest schlepping around in jeans and trainers but I like a slutty boot for work and of course every girl likes to get tarted up for a totter around town every now and then. But it's still all a bit new to me and therefore I struggle with the terminology. I feel stupid saying "handbag" so please, offer an alternative to "purse" or "wallet" as "pouch" is only going to earn me weird looks and uncomfortable giggling from shop assistants. While I think of it, that's exactly the reaction I got from the nurse in the phototherapy department at the hospital today when, on informing her of my change of next of kin from the Ex to the Other Half, I inadvertently followed the information up with my standard (as in a running joke between me and him) mutter of "I'm such a slut". Given that she'd never laid eyes on me before today her reaction was fairly well-controlled. Well, they must see all sorts, musn't they?

The entire preceding paragraph stemmed from what I was actually intending to write about (but now realise is a very limited subject). Owing to our woefully hungover state on Sunday morning I left my *shudders* handbag with my *winces* purse and diary in it at Fifi's house. Fifi Sis is posting it back to me but in the interim I have been mostly standing in shops fumbling for cash in a small, rustly freezer bag like a demented tramp. It's not a look I'm comfortable with and it makes me tense.

That is all.


Blogger GreatSheElephant chimed in with...

Inspired by a purse I found on ebay which was made out of kangaroo scrotum, I humbly suggest: sac

Or there is the vile Americanism - pocketbook.

Alternatively put everything on plastic.

24 October, 2005 20:07  
Blogger garfer chimed in with...

Was having a similar conversation over a Tina's a while back. I thimk we came to the conclusion that the only solution was the fannytwat pack (aka, the bumbag).

24 October, 2005 20:21  
Blogger Whinger chimed in with...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

24 October, 2005 20:22  
Blogger Whinger chimed in with...

Mmmm...sounds like the perfect excuse to get a NEW purse.

Although, admittedly, you might have limited funds to pay for it what with the wallet being back in the handbag.

24 October, 2005 20:50  
Blogger GreatSheElephant chimed in with...


24 October, 2005 21:06  
Blogger surly girl chimed in with...

sporran to you too, madam.

and garfer - have never quite got the whole mingebag thing. wrong.

24 October, 2005 21:20  
Blogger spindleshanks chimed in with...

i never know either and am equally incapable of saying handbag. usually i just opt for the blank as in "can you hand me my ...." as i reach pathetically towards said object, or "the keys are in my ..." as i fumble through. it's not satisfactory really though is it?

24 October, 2005 22:53  
Anonymous Pat chimed in with...

Travelling abroad we used to have a communal purse which we all contributed to each day. It was 'odgie' I think it is Italian

24 October, 2005 23:16  
Blogger MinCat chimed in with...

how bout bag. just bag. no hand no purse, just bag.

or eqsprtqt, which actually does kind of evoke bag like things to me.

25 October, 2005 06:56  
Blogger Fifi chimed in with...

Front pocket anyone?

25 October, 2005 08:59  
Blogger surly girl chimed in with...

i had forgotten about the front pocket!!

i quite like the sound of "odgie" but would have to practise at home in order to sound comfortable with it instead of self-conscious and weird (which is, regrettably, my default setting).

25 October, 2005 09:09  
Blogger Wyndham chimed in with...

Hmmm, I knwo little about purses, but a freezer-bag sounds quite posh. For that real bag-lady ambience you need a giant rustling plazzy bag from Iceland. (For your international readers that's a down-market supermarket on the high Street, not the country, where they probably make very chic fur-lined bags.)

25 October, 2005 09:26  
Blogger Spinsterella chimed in with...

I say "bag" and "wallet".

Please, please can you post a wedding photo? I have ranted and railed against the boring-ness of the ubiquitous ivory strapless number, but tie-dye? Stripey socks?

25 October, 2005 10:44  
Blogger surly girl chimed in with...

i don't know that i've got any....there's probably one somewhere that i took cause i liked the frame. i'll have a look. it was a slightly unconvential wedding to say the least - my sister-in-law's office overlooked the register office and the next day all her colleagues were gossiping about the "circus" and the "freakshow" and she had to gently explain that she'd been at the wedding....marvellous!!

25 October, 2005 11:01  
Blogger FUNKYBROWNCHICK chimed in with...

"Hey, hey now," says the Yankee. "There's absolutely nothing wrong with the word pocketbook!"

Now ... back to the matter at hand. So, you say you used to have Pink Hair? :) Ah, wait. That's not what we're talking about is it? Hmmmm ... I usually say "purse" or "bag."

25 October, 2005 12:14  
Blogger surly girl chimed in with...

i had pink hair for about six years, on and off....

if i didn't work at my current company i'd dye it pink again today.

25 October, 2005 12:36  
Blogger Lippy chimed in with...

I'm ok with "bag", but after reading your post, am now having a terrible crisis with "purse". Oh dear, whatever shall I do? Perhaps I'll do like Spindleshanks does and just refer to it vaguely with sign language. Or something. Bugger.

25 October, 2005 12:50  
Blogger Urban Chick chimed in with...



25 October, 2005 13:29  
Blogger surly girl chimed in with...

lippy, welcome. and hu,our me - do you use haloscan for comments on your blog? only i'm having real trouble with haloscan...

uc - you'll have to wait - i've got a list of six topics to post on before shoes come up again. alternatively, look here to see my gorgeous, naughty work boots (in black, natch).

25 October, 2005 13:52  
Blogger Donna chimed in with...

As I've only ever seen you "schlepping around in jeans and trainers", I find it hard to imagine you with a handbag let alone "gorgeous, pointy, stiletto-heeled slutty shoes and boots". Will you dress up for me next time we go out?

25 October, 2005 14:19  
Blogger Kyahgirl chimed in with...

as someone who just shoved her wallet into the diaper bag for years, I was dismayed last year to find myself without a purse. I can't help you with another name. Although, if I had to go with another I'd choose sporran. It makes me think of kilts and big strong scots men :-).

A lot of people here use these purses that look a bit like backpacks. They come in 'very posh' to very cheap. I've seen some really nice ones and they can be practical too for when you have yours arms full of child, groceries, etc.

25 October, 2005 16:10  
Blogger Who is this Dave? chimed in with...

'I had pink hair for about six years, on and off....'

Was it a wig then?

If it came on and off, I mean.

Sorry. I'll leave quietly

25 October, 2005 16:10  
Blogger Kyahgirl chimed in with...

Don't use the word pouch ok? Its often used around here to indicate the place that men keep the family jewels.

25 October, 2005 16:12  
Blogger surly girl chimed in with...

laura (and make it new and any other international friends) - the issue is with the naming of the small change-purse that goes in the, ms canadian gourdess, may i suggest that you have a dirty mind.

dave - that's actually rather funny. if you don't watch out i may mellow towards you and then where will we all be?

donna - might do. if you ask nicely.

25 October, 2005 16:23  
Blogger 30-Something chimed in with...

Purse is so wanky, I agree. It may as well be called a Fru-Fru, it sounds so girly. Personally, anything that doesn't fit in my pockets doesn't come with me.

Plus, it means I never have to ask anyone to hand me my pocket. "What? Oh yeah, thanks, it's right here where I left it. On my body."

25 October, 2005 21:41  
Blogger Lippy chimed in with...

Ms Surly - yes, I do use Haloscan. Never had any trouble with it that I couldn't solve though, such as the comment count getting out of whack. They've got an instant fix on the Haloscan site for knocking that one on the head. I also tweaked by Blogger template to suppress the blogger comments code - less confusion for visitors.

26 October, 2005 11:50  
Blogger Kellycat chimed in with...

I've never had a problem with "purse" or "handbag" (obviously), but I had to use the word "pantyhose" today to explain to Meegan what American Tan tights were, and that left me feeling slightly soiled.

I hope you're not attributing any blame in my direction for you turning into a girl?

26 October, 2005 18:08  
Blogger surly girl chimed in with...

using the word "pantyhose" is never going to result in anything but a slightly uncomfortable feeling.

and you may hold yourself somewhat accountable for the fact that i do actually own five proper "handbags"

lippy - it's working now

30 something - i am going to call my purse my fru-fru from now on. genius.

26 October, 2005 18:35  

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