Thursday, October 06, 2005

Mirror, signal, red mist....

There's a myth perpetuated by the media that road rage and bad driving are the preserve of small boys in rubbish cars with great big spoilers. As an aside, if I ever fulfil my destiny and end up running the country I'm going to outlaw modification of cars under 1.4 litres. That'll fuck 'em. Anyway, I'm here to tell you that it's not them at all. It's thirty-something women on the school run. To get to Small Person's school we have to run the gauntlet of another primary school and it's like something out of Mad Max. If viewed from above it would look like a demolition derby as frazzled, furious women jockey for position outside the school and passing (or trying to) motorists wave their arms and bite lumps out of their steering wheels. Every so often a lollipop lady will up the stakes by plunging headlong and without warning into the melee, adding a frisson of danger and excitement to the whole event. There's the added bonus of a single-lane bridge just past the school and often a hapless and not-aggressive-enough driver will sit forlornly on the other side as cars stream relentlessly past them. My current tactic is to turn up the stereo so Small Person can't hear me swearing and to not lift my foot from the accelerator (lollipop ladies permitting) until we're safely through. After that it's a clear run to Small Person's school, where I like to frustrate other drivers with a breathtaking display of dangerous parking accompanied by no indication whatsoever of what I might do next.

In other news, I demand that everyone who hasn't already done so goes out this evening and rents Mighty Wind.

17 Comments:

Blogger Donna chimed in with...

I've just been there too. And I favour parking on the yellow lines (cos for some reason there's always space there) ...

06 October, 2005 10:19  
Blogger zanna chimed in with...

and just to make it even worse its national walk to school week........

06 October, 2005 11:03  
Blogger Crash chimed in with...

Walk to school week... What will we do with the 4x4?

06 October, 2005 12:19  
Blogger FUNKYBROWNCHICK chimed in with...

Oh my ... must watch out for 30-somethings on the way to school! :)

Re: Mighty Wind, I'll add it to my Netflix list. I finally signed up!!!

Stolie

Stolie
-----------------------------------
http://funkybrownchick.blogspot.com

06 October, 2005 12:20  
Blogger Smat chimed in with...

we have a walking bus two days a week, which lets us those of us trained to run it feel Very Superior to everyone else struggling to park at school.

06 October, 2005 14:07  
Blogger Donna chimed in with...

You may have to explain what a 'walking bus' is .... or am I just speaking for myself??

06 October, 2005 14:15  
Blogger surly girl chimed in with...

i think it's one of those things that i'd rant about except it's smat and i like smat so i won't. basically someone chaperones loads of kids walking to school and they pick up kids on the way.

the whole "walk to school" thing sits very badly with me. i live too far away from the school in any case, and i have to go straight to work (which is the subject of another rant. if i can get to school for 8.45am why can't the fucking teacher get the door open til 8.50??? hmmmmm??? the teacher in the next door classroom is always on time so why do i get the slow one and have to stand looking at my watch and tutting and getting all stressed before i even get to work??) from the school and it Just Isn't Practical.

i should have married a rich man.

wanxyme: enzyme found in jizz

06 October, 2005 14:43  
Blogger Whinger chimed in with...

That's an appalling example for the teacher to set.

A Mighty Wind is FANtastic. Love it, as I do all of those movies.

06 October, 2005 15:29  
Blogger Donna chimed in with...

leave her in the playground ... (it's a bonus of having two - I feel much less guilty abandoning them together rather than one at a time) it's character building.

06 October, 2005 16:01  
Blogger Who is this Dave? chimed in with...

Make her walk from home. On her own. It's even more character building.

06 October, 2005 16:17  
Blogger Kyahgirl chimed in with...

Ok, here's my mini rant- not only do I have to be at work (most days) by 8, which means leaving the kids at the daycare by 7:30 but now, since I'm on all kinds of teams with Europeans, they want me to start meetings at 7, 7;30. This morning I got a meeting request from someone in Brazil for 5:30 in the frickin' morning!
Its hard enough to get everyone out by 7;30 without nervous breakdowns all around.

The though occurs to me to tell these people to piss up a rope, but in the interest of diversity (that may not be a known saying in Brazil) I just politely declined and suggested a better time.

Sorry to highjack your post with a rant. I'm a bit surly myself today.

L

06 October, 2005 18:41  
Blogger surly girl chimed in with...

laura, you carry on. the working mother's lot is not a happy one (what with the guilt and the do-gooders but that's a post for next week) so feel free to rant wherever you feel comfortable.

06 October, 2005 19:05  
Blogger Yidchick chimed in with...

Love Mighty Wind. And totally relate to unleashing our inner beast-esses on the road. Keep it up!

07 October, 2005 06:07  
Blogger Urban Chick chimed in with...

i used to live in hampstead, north london (IN A COMMUNE!! hear me, do you think i could actually afford to live there??) round the corner from an orfly posh gals' school and i tell you: i'm surprised there weren't more police 'copters swirling overhead at drop-orf and pick-up time

it was HELL out there: many a yummy mummy in her laura ashley get-up jostling for the three parking spaces in their ten ton range rovers (snow chains included)

i tried to stay in during those hours for fear of becoming caught up in an unpleasant brouhaha

**wipes sweat from brow as remembers the terribleness of it all**

07 October, 2005 14:03  
Blogger surly girl chimed in with...

ooh, good use of "brouhaha" uc

*rushes off to google the etymology of that one*

07 October, 2005 14:25  
Blogger surly girl chimed in with...

>>brouhaha
1890, from Fr. brouhaha (1552), said to have been, in medieval theater, "the cry of the devil disguised as clergy." Perhaps from Heb. barukh habba' "blessed be the one who comes," used on public occasions.<<

who knew?

07 October, 2005 14:27  
Blogger Urban Chick chimed in with...

it's one of my fave words and i like it even more after reading about its ety-wotsit

07 October, 2005 18:42  

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