Sunday, September 04, 2005

Would you LIKE any desserts today?

Myself and the Other Half went out for lunch today. We spent last night out on the town with our respective friends (in which the barman at the Swan outdid the barman at the Black Horse's pentagram in the Guinness top by presenting the Other Half with a pint sporting the anarchy symbol), and he played footie this morning so we agreed that a great big roast dinner was just what the doctor ordered. We chose a nice pub on the outskirts of town, arriving at around twelve thirty. As soon as we were inside, things took a turn for the weird. It took us five minutes to be seated, mainly because the girl who showed us to our table was so lethargic that I suspected she might actually have been nodding out on smack. Honestly, it was embarrassing - at one point I found myself in an odd sort of shuffle on the stairs for fear that I might overtake her, so ponderous was her progress. We sat down and looked at our menus among the sort of cacophony that suggested feeding time at the zoo. Doesn't anyone just talk any more? The volume was so loud that we had no choice but to raise our voices in order to be heard, so the whole meal was spent bellowing at each other in a comedy manner. Our waitress, sorry, server, was master of stating the bleeding obvious, and also of the entirely superfluous question..."Can I get you any main courses today?"..no thanks, we're just browsing...."Can I clear those plates for you now?"...um, no thanks, we'd rather sit and look at dirty plates, if that's ok with you? Her pinnacle of ridiculousness came when I was paying the bill with my card. She put the transaction through the till, and placed a pen on the desk. Unable to help herself, she helpfully advised that "there's a pen". I bit the insides of my cheeks very hard indeed, and the Other Half had to leg it. I'm all for the improvement of the service industry, but surely there are limits? Oh dear, I've turned into my mother.

In other news, the Ex remains a complete twat. I could treat you all to a futile, angry rant about the latest lack of reason and understanding, but frankly it bores me so I'll spare you. If I ever get my hands on a chainsaw, however, you can read about it in the popular press.

Oh, and hon? That gravy did go down my front. I was just too ashamed to admit it.

11 Comments:

Blogger Heather chimed in with...

All 3 of my c-sections were emergency last minute kind of things.. although the 2nd and the 3rd had been planned.. my children were born premature.

But yeah I was okay missing the labor/sweating/pushing/pain thing

04 September, 2005 20:19  
Anonymous Other Half chimed in with...

Err interesting 1st comment there which I'm having trouble relating to today's blog entry.

In other news...I KNEW it, I knew you'd spilled gravy, I just couldn't see where it landed. Mainly 'cos I was distracted filling my own face with top quality scoff !!!

04 September, 2005 20:48  
Blogger Amanda Matilda chimed in with...

The only problem with Guinness is that it tastes like someone else drank it first. How does your Other Half stand that stuff?

04 September, 2005 20:48  
Blogger Who is this Dave? chimed in with...

Your waitress wasn't called Heather was she? She must be on something.

04 September, 2005 21:15  
Blogger surly girl chimed in with...

let me explain....i visited heather's blog via the "recently updated" thingy on the blogger dashboard. she had a list of facts, one of which was that she had her three kids by c-section. so i did the friendly thing and asked if that was elective or circumstance - my mother had all three of us that way and i'm always curious. so no, heather wasn't our waitress. our server was clare, and she had a squint. heather is not, as far as i can tell, on something, although with three kids i wouldn't blame her.

and haven't any of you got owt better to do on a sunday night?

04 September, 2005 21:41  
Blogger Ant chimed in with...

Aw, you shouldn't have explained it! It could have stood in isolation as a very funny post-modern-type-commentary-thing.

And every night's a good night for blogging. But Sunday especially. It's either that or watch Compo in a bath, falling down a hill for the nth time...

04 September, 2005 21:54  
Blogger surly girl chimed in with...

or monarch of the heartbeat saving lambkins while engaging in a morally-upstanding relationship with a pillar of the community.

actually i'm sort of watching legally blonde. it's quite good - is that the feminists battering at the dooor......?

gmmiplyc - catchphrase of the 2008 special olympics....

04 September, 2005 21:58  
Blogger Who is this Dave? chimed in with...

I don't know whether it's my computer, or whether you've been affected by some dreadful virus, but did you know that several of the links in your sidebar take you to Mr Gate's home? I know Microsoft is taking over the world, but should he be dominating your blog too?

Or perhaps this is a clever money-making scam you're running.

{At present, The man who fell asleep, Flying Spaghetti Monsterism or ID? You decide..., Life is... [hope this doesn't count as blog-pimping] and Overheard in New York all take you to Microsoft. The others work OK]

05 September, 2005 12:41  
Anonymous Other Half chimed in with...

The reason those links take you to Microsoft (or and MSN related search engine) is because the URL is linked wrongly. They're prefixed with http://http:// which means your browser can't read them as genuine sites so defaults to a Microsoft related page or search (if you're using IE that is).

I expect my better half will now tell me I've just typed a load of noise (in-joke for us as I'm a professional IT geek !!!).

05 September, 2005 16:08  
Blogger Who is this Dave? chimed in with...

True, I'm sure. Although I use Firefox. But are you going to fix them?
Or at least, fix mine.
Please.
Pretty please.
In a non-pimpy sort of way.

05 September, 2005 17:54  
Blogger surly girl chimed in with...

i'm not sure i'm liking the word "wrongly". i was hoping to pass it off as art..

05 September, 2005 19:25  

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